A day in the life of a little boy

7:02 - I wake up to the sound of humming coming from my bedside baby video monitor. Actually, it's from the baby in the crib that's reflected on the monitor. What an angel he is, I think to myself. What a little angel that heaven sent to us. There he is humming in his crib, awake and waiting for Mommy to come and get him to start the day. Angel boy.

7:10 - "Good Morning Little Man!" I say to him as I sleepily shuffle across his room to scoop him up. He bounces up and down in the crib and reaches for me. But after I swoop down and give him some sugar on the cheeks, I get a whiff. It's golden. "Uh-oh. Peed out, eh? Bummer! No problem, come with me and we'll get that cleaned up in a jiff!"


7:20 - "Son, come here...do I smell what I think I smell? You couldn't have timed this better for like, ten minutes ago? Seriously? I mean, how does someone so little create so much stank? I just need to know this...I'm just sayin'..."

8:15 - Hungry again? Let's get you some breakfast. I know just what you like! Yogurt? Maybe a whole grain breakfast bar? Uh-huh...momma knows. Oh son...don't spit that out. Wait! Don't put that in your hair, you silly boy! Quint...don't throw that on the ground. You're feisty!" I smile and give him that knowing "mommy" look. He grins back with a little devilish smirk. Hmm...



10:01 - Naptime. Sweet boy...sleep well...

10:17 - I hear him jumping up and down in the crib. I go in - which I almost never do. "Son, sit down - it's naptime. You need to lay down. NO, don't throw your blanket out. What happened to your socks? Son, don't touch that hamper - you're scraping the wall up. Quint...lay down. I love you, you little stinker. Go to sleep..."



11:30 - "Quint, sit down. You cannot stand up in your rocking chair by the brick fireplace. You're going to crack your head. Now, sit down. Son! Sit. Like this. There. No...do not...son...sit down. No. Here, play with this - isn't this fun? No, don't hit the dog. Quint, ok - Mommy's putting the dog in the kitchen. There. Poor doggy! Ok, let's play with..SON - you can't crawl out the dog door - stop! You're stuck!! Get back here...what are you trying to do? Make a break for it? No, don't touch the fireplace - it's all sooty. Nevermind, let's go wipe your hands off now that their covered in black. NO! Don't touch your faaaccceee!!! NOOOO don't touch the white carpet!!!! (deep sigh) Son, you have to listen to mommy. You're exhausting me today."



12:15 - "Are you hungry? Let's eat lunch! Mmmmm, how about turkey? Here you go...no, the dogs don't want...ok, I guess they do now. Why did you throw that on the floor? That was for you? Now the dog ate it, and we have to make another one. Here you go. Son, sit down in your highchair. Sit. Down. Now. Here's your turkey. Here's your water. Here's your cheese - ooooh cheese - your favorite! Why are you blowing rasberries? It's cheese! Your favorite! Right? Son, don't spit that out - it's cheese! You love cheese. Ok, now the dog loves your cheese. Well, I'm running out of ideas here...No, don't do that. Don't...oh brother, now your water is all over your clothes. Why would you take a drink and then let it run down your mouth. And then laugh. That's not that funny, you know?"


3:00 - Naptime. "Don't throw your blanket out. No, keep your socks on. Son, it's freezing cold outside, keep them on. Why are you always taking your shoes and socks off. Your feet are like ice. No, I don't want them. I want them on your feet. Whatever then. Goodnight. I love you. Stinker-man.

3:23 - "Why are you fussing and yelling in here? It's naptime. You need to be sleeping. What? Oh good Lord - do you need a new diaper? Again? I can smell it from here. No need to point. Good grief - we should buy stock in Luvs AND Glade air freshener. Seriously. I'm just sayin'."


6:17 - "You' re so cute! What did you make? Are those your legos? No, don't put those out the dog door. Son, they belong inside with all your other...wait...where are your other Legos? Don't tell me. Let me guess. No, I insist. If I open this door, am I going to find 87 pieces of lego on the other side of the dog door? Let's open it and see, shall we. YEP. Un-freaking believable. You have got to be kidding. AGAIN? REALLY? SON. Who does that? Who shoves all their toys out the dog door? What will you play with when they're all out the door? Ok, well let's clean em up....


6:29 - "Quint, seriously - Mommy does not want anymore toys out the dog door. Seriously. Stop. No more. No...SON. I just said, did I not, that I don't want...don't you do it...don't you...(teeth grit). Why? Go over there while I get it, so you don't throw anymore outside. No, do not give the dog your Cheerios. Quint, Mommy said no. She can't have Cheerios. Well, she just did, didn't she. Ok, come here and help Mommy. No, don't take the DVD's off the shelf. Ok, do it - whatever. Just take em' off. I don't care. It's fine. Here, I'll help you. Here's a good one...Sixteen Candles...Daddy just got that for me - love me some Jake Ryan...here's another good one...Singing in the Rain...oh, look - I forgot I had this one too...here let's take them off of the shelf together."


7:12 - "Well, you are such a good boy and you ate all your dinner! I'm so proud of you!! Are you tired? Almost bedtime... Let's get down and play for a bit, huh? Quint, this way...over here. Over here buddy. No, leave the puppy bowl alone. What's in your mouth? NO. Please Gawd, no. That's gross. Come here. OMG. Son, open your mouth. NO! We DON'T EAT DOG FOOD. Oh gross! HONEY?!? HE'S EATING DOG FOOD AGAIN!!!"


7:55 - "Ok, time for jammies. One foot. Other foot. One arm. Other arm. Muah. Muah. Muah. Muah. I sure love you. You wear me out, did you know that? But I love you, love you, love you. You are ALL BOY, mister. Here's your blankie. I love you forever. Goodnight.

9:53 - I check the monitor and see his even breathing. What an angel he is, I think to myself. What a little angel that heaven sent to us. How did we get so lucky? There he is sleeping in his crib, dreaming about Legos, and dog food. My sweet little angel boy...