June 4, 2011

Anatomy of a Meltdown

What’s that? You’re saying that I can’t have my way?

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Well then, allow me to lay down here.  In the middle of wherever we are.

And CRY. MY. HEAD. OFF.

I might throw in a kick of the leg or two.

For added measure and to prove my point.

Are you still looking??

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Oh, good.  You are still looking.  Perfect.

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

You’re the meanest Mommy in the whole. wide. world.

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

(breathe)

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

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And it’s all your fault I am forced to lay on this hard concrete.

If you would only give me whatever I want

when I want it…

Gah!

I can’t even look at you anymore.

I’m too upset!

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Oh the humanity!

Where is your sense of maternity?!?

This is an outrage!

Don’t you even care, woman?!?!

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Oh, I care, son. 

I care a lot

Enough to let you lay there on that hard concrete

and act a tantrum throwin’ toddler

Because I now have pictorial proof

and some day you’ll have a girlfriend

just sayin.

Love, Mom