December 29, 2006


Nineteen months since we started this litttle monkey chase...

Nine months since we gave our hard earned paperwork to UPS

Nine months since we put our hopes in the hands of the CCAA

Nine months of decorating a nursery, collecting scores of baby clothes, books, hair bows, and dolls.

Nine months of waiting and waiting and waiting.

Seven, eight, nine, ten more to go... (????)

Mommy and Daddy are coming Keira! Hang in there sweet girl ~

December 26, 2006

Out with the with the...errr..Valentines??

Merry Christmas, yeah yeah. NEXT! Oops, I skipped right over my New Year decor...oh well...I'm anxious to get on with two things:

2007 and the adoption of my daughter

and ~

Valentines Day and a sappy excuse to be overtly romantic on this blog (like my new look?) and to express my love and affection for my husband, who is truly the love of my life and a wonderful, amazing man. I am taking advantage of the decor and really dedicating this setup to him. The new slideshow, the music, the little hearts...just a little way of paying homage to our love - which I hold very dear after seven wonderful, difficult, amazing, growth producing, beautiful years together. I love you, babe! Thick ~ thin ~ difficult ~ easy ~ I'm here for the long haul.

Anyhow, out with the old and in with the new. I'm over Christmas and it's not even been done for two hours. I can't help it. It was fun, we had a full house, fun presents, great food, all that! STILL, I'm ready to move on. SOOOOO...

Let's get on with it, shall we?

Valentines it is...


December 23, 2006

I'm still here...

It's been short December for us. There has been so little time to get much done, that blogging has been low priority. Work has been very busy, Christmas shopping has been frantic at best, and we're very involved in our church's Christmas Eve services (all four of them) so we have a very busy day tomorrow. We also have a full house for Christmas Day - which, I'm actually grateful for in retrospect of how lonely our last Christmas was. We sat home, AB was sick, and I spent the day on the couch watching "A Christmas Story" over and over with a large bowl of Ramen. Now we can entertain and will be distracted that our darling girl is not here to be spoiled rotten by us. So, as for the company ~ we have my in-laws and also my cousins from California and their newborn adopted son. We also have our local dear friends and their little daughter. It'll be a full house!

Yesterday I had lunch with my M3 Crew, and it was a blast, of course. For clarification, look on the side bar to the right at the "Adoption Posse" slideshow. These are my "GIRLS"!!!! I love them so much and they have added such joy and support to my life. These are not words...what started as a "let's just get together some time", has turned into five of my very dearest friends. They have helped me to get through this past year with laughter, tears, and complete and utter acceptance. We are all adopting from China and have one veteran who has adopted twice from China. It's an amazing blend of women and I'm so grateful for them. So the point is, when I am low - they literally send out SOS's for me. They notice me. They remember and know me. They care for me as I do for them... So yesterday, we met for lunch and we had the loveliest time and I was sad to have to leave them.

Meanwhile, I just want everyone to know that when I post on here - and it seems totally negative - it's just reflective of how I'm feeling in that moment. It's not my end all emotion. It's just the way I feel when I have waited so long for my daughter to be home and she still is not because of ridiculous political hangups. Bureaucracy. I'm really looking forward to getting through the holidays and getting on with 2007, because I would like to retain the hope that I will be holding Keira by the end of it. I would like to think that all my waiting is not in vain and that at some point, our dossier will actually find it's way to her file and ultimately lead us to her. That's my New Year Resolution ~ to have my child home and in her bed and sleeping with the peace of having her forever family.

On to the present: I am really glad you all keep checking in here - I've got a new computer and it's taking me a little time to get all my favorites and pictures, etc. on here. Don't give up on me - I'm going to be posting more after Christmas, and I'm going to be working on a blog makeover in January for Winter.

I want to wish everyone a very Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year - and to all the waiting families, like us, a SPEEDY referral process, Lord willing.


December 12, 2006

No time to say "Hello, Goodbye"

Sorry all - I've been out of the loop. I'm a bit of a disaster. Not only emotionally (thank you suck A** referral month) but also physically. If I'm being honest (and I am as far as you know) I've had two horrible periods in the past three weeks. Yes, in the past three weeks. Last time I checked these were supposed to be spaced apart by 28 days, give or take a few. Is something wrong, I wonder? Second, I just recovered from a nasty upper-respiratory infection. Which was bad, in and of itself. My doctor was kind enough to prescribe for a me a really efficient anti-biotic, but failed to mention that it would cause this within hours of taking it. Needless to say, this is now my best friend. Too much info? Is that what I hear? Well tough. Imagine how I feel?!? Read someone else blog for Christmas cheer. Mine is gloom, doom, and despair. Who would have thought that antibiotics could give you so much grief! I feel great from the chest up - but hit the nether-regions and we're in trouble. And when I did the research about Ketek (said antibiotic), I realized I'm not alone. Other women have experienced this side affect as well. Well, HMPH, and double HMPH. Doesn't this picture say it? I'm just so, I don't know...tired.

Another gripe is that I'm not done Christmas shopping by a long shot, haven't mailed gifts to my secret pal or family, and haven't even begun to think about Christmas cards. To make matters more interesting, I'm buried in my work that pays for these gifts. No time. I also have company coming this week and I'm not ready. Not ready, I tell you! My cousins are coming to adopt - their birth mom is giving birth not far from where we live - they asked to stay here while they receive the baby and finalize the paperwork - could be up to two weeks - all in all fine with me and hubby (we are big fans of adoption after all), but with everything else - ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Oh, and we got a really dreadful e-mail from our agency this week about policy changes with the CCAA, etc. Not going into detail - just saying that as patient as we've tried to be - the hits just keep on coming. Won't affect us this round - but if we go through China again for a second adoption, let's just say we (the Beaver Cleaver family) would be in trouble. That's how scary the guildelines are getting. What was it I said at the beginning? Oh yeah, sucks A**!

And a bah humbug to us all.

Other than that -

AB and his good buddy Charlie got to go see the Cowboys get spanked the other night at Cowboy stadium, but he had fun. Here's a couple pics...

Also, got to spend time with my favorite baby today (also known as "the other Keira" - because that's her name too) and she is just too cute. She laughs all the time, love-love-loves to read books,(or rather have me read to her) and loves to look at things and say "ohhhh" and "yeah" and "ahhhhkay". She's so cute, but she wears this girl out! SCARY! Also, it must be nice to visit somewhere for the day where there is a nursery fit for a princess waiting for you and even has "your" name on wall in big white letters? Not to mention the vast supply of toys, clothing, books, and blankets just waiting to be used by chubby, grubby baby hands. Must be nice. I always tell her that she's Keira's "big sister" or sorts, and that she must try out everything to make sure it's fun and kid-friendly. She happily obliges. But as I say, cant be too hard when your name is on the wall. She must think this is her personal retreat while away from home! At least someone is using the stuff - it helps a little that I get to practice saying Keira's name and playing with Keira's stuff and having someone so adorable, named Keira, respond!

Sorry I'm so cranky otherwise. I have a lot to be thankful for in my life. But right now, I would love to count Keira Joy among them. Right now she is just so far away. It's getting hard. We're getting older. And CCAA will not cooperate. Wait is at 16 months according to our agency. That's July for all you March LID-ers. July before we get matched. Oh, and then there's the nice little tag they love throwing on the end - "and we expect the wait to get longer". God I wish just once they would say "and we anticipate a shorter wait very soon". Would it kill them? Now, I ask you!

Sorry, totally in a crappy Christmas mood and can't seem to snap out of it...

December 5, 2006

I'm still bitter - so I morphed a song

Our hope got run over by referrals

China slowed way down for Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as bad luck,

But as for me and AB, we believe.

I’ve been drinkin' too much egg nog,

The nursery’s turned into a joke.

When folks come over to admire it,

They pay fare and have to pass through a red rope...

Now another Christmas mornin',

will come and go without our dear.

it’s no surprise to all who’re waiting,

that it looks like we’ll all wait another year

Our hope got run over by referrals

China slowed way down for Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as bad luck,

But as for me and AB, we believe.

Now were all so sad and lonely,

And it’s so hard to explain

Why we’re always still a year off

from getting her from China – we complain

It's not Christmas without Keira.

All the family's dressed in black.

And we just can't help but wonder:

Should we open up her gifts or send them back?

Our hope got run over by referrals

China slowed way down for Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as bad luck,

But as for me and AB, we believe.

Now the crib is still so empty

And the toys are growing dust

And her closets full of clothing

And a tricycle that’s growing old with rust

I've warned all my friends and neighbors.

Better watch out for yourselves."

There shouldn’t be so many families

With their paperwork just sitting on the shelves

Our hope got run over by referrals

China slowed way down for Christmas eve.

You can say there's no such thing as bad luck,

But as for me and AB, we believe.

December 3, 2006

Burn, baby burn...

I've thought about it and man oh man...

I'm still mad...

About Referrals that is...

Don't get me wrong my faithful peeps, I am happy for those that got theirs - but I am piping mad about the pitiful few, and about the masses left out in the cold once again.

This is really starting to get to me and I'm not alone. I actually realized yesterday as I was decorating the house for Christmas that it really may not be our "last one" without Keira. Which made me mad. Again. Really mad.

Come this time next year, we will have been in this process almost three years. That's far too long to ask anyone to wait. Simply put - it's plain old not fair to the families, or the waiting children.

Who's in charge of this quackered operation anyway?!? Probably the same guy who invented pantyhose, size zero jeans, Easy Cheese, and The Dress Barn. Jerk.