29 Days of Love ~ Intro Post

^{I Corinthians 13:4} Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This challenge marks the 6-month point for those of you following the Year of Challenges.  I can’t believe we’ve actually hit the six-month mark – and I’ll be the first to admit to you that there have been a hundred few times I’ve wondered what in the world I was thinking taking this huge task on.  On the other hand, I can tell you that I’ve been stretched and forced to look at myself and my selfish tendencies in a way that I’ve never bothered to before.  If you’re just joining us, be sure to take a peek at the “Challenges” tab above to see where we’ve been with this project and what’s up and coming!

So Love.  Yes, February is the month for sweethearts – and I totally enjoy the colors, the sentiment, and the idea that we celebrate finding that special someone.  But let’s face it; this is a Hallmark Holiday if there ever was one.  And if you truly understand where this tradition emerged, you begin to wonder how we got it whittled down to a lovers only celebration. 

Visit HERE to read how the holiday originated and see just how far we’ve come!  Women, you just be happy you’re not getting slapped with blood drenched pieces of goat hide – that’s all I’m saying!

But one of things about the Month of Love that I think is often missing is the way we show love to our entire family.  Not just our significant other.  So this month, we’re going to focus on showing our love to our household.  And if you’re single – we’re going to show love to our extended family.    And I don’t need to tell you that “family” is a broad term indeed – many of us have people in our heart that are not related by blood, but whom we consider closer than any family we might have. You know who your family is… 

In November, we focused on showing thanks for our friends.  In December, we focused on our neighbors, our communities, and our world.  In January, we focused on ourselves and healthier living.  This month, we’re going to extend the true confessions of our heart to those we love the very most.

I remember when my father was very ill several years ago.  In a medically induced coma for over a month, we all sat around wishing we could talk to him again and tell him all the ways he touched our lives and how much we loved him.  Wished we could once again laugh about the good times and regale stories of our years together.  We wished we could tell him we appreciated him.  Honored him.  And forgave any shortcomings he may or may not have had. 

When he recovered, by God’s divine grace, we were so grateful – and overwhelmed by how much tragedy reminds us of what we seem so often to forget:  say what you want to say now.  Not tomorrow.  Not next week.  Show your love now.  Don’t save it, don’t hoard it, don’t sit on it.  Give it away…love your family and show them how much you love them.

There is a saying, and it’s somber but beautiful. Love and cherish those that God gave you, because some day He will need them back.

On that note, I’d like to introduce you to February’s 29 Days of Love:

This month we’re going to work out Corinthians 13:4-7 in our homes (and families) and try to come to an understanding of what Love is really supposed to be – not just romantic love, as Hallmark would like you to think – but as we’ve been created for and with those precious people God has placed in our lives to be our family.  Let’s review…

Love is patient

Love is Kind

It does not envy

It does not boast

It is not proud

It does not dishonor others

It is not self-seeking

It is not easily angered

It keeps no records of wrongs

Love does not rejoice in evil but rejoices with the truth

It always protects

Always trusts

Always hopes

Always perseveres

Translation:

Extend your patience in situations with your spouse, children, or even extended family.  Times when you otherwise might be prone to frustration, allow yourself to take a breath and extend patience. 

Offer kindness, when you’re instinct might be otherwise.  Help your kids with a big school project, even if they didn’t ask.  Set aside 30 minutes and love on your spouse.  Take 20 minutes and reach out to your parents or siblings – especially if you live far away from each other.  There are so many kindnesses to name – I’ll save those for below.

Envy is tough – because I think we all do this.  But instead, focus on the ways you are proud of your family.  Tell them!

Don’t boast about your own accomplishments this month – instead, focus on the ways your family has impressed you.  Be humble.

Love is not proud.  Be the first to apologize.  I don’t care if it’s a decade old argument, or a difference of opinion about which coffee is better.  Don’t be full of pride – and find the first way to say you were wrong, or you’re sorry, or that you probably didn’t handle a certain situation very well.

Don’t throw your loved ones under a bus.  Don’t talk about them behind their backs.  Don’t present them poorly to others.  Don’t dishonor them.  Love them by building them up, speaking highly of them, focusing on their good traits, and praising their accomplishments.

Love isn’t self-seeking.  Don’t do things to get something in return.  This month is not about what you get back or what happens when you do X.  It’s about showing love without any expectations. 

If you’re anything like me – you have a temper.  (I pray you’re nothing like me in this way)  I get heated up pretty quickly and I tend to express myself through volume.  Enough said.  The point is, love is not easily angered.  Spend this month working on your temper.  Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.  Remember October’s Challenge? 

Are you a grudge holder?  If you are, I urge you to take this month to let that baggage go.  Find ways to express that release.  Whether you write a letter of forgiveness and burn it.  Deliver it.  Write your grievance on a large rock and throw it to the bottom of the lake (i.e. letting it GO) or take that loved one to coffee and apologize for holding on to that and not forgiving them.  Let it go.  Anger and a lack of forgiveness are the seeds of despair and they keep us held in one spot – unable to grow and move forward with those we love.  Let it go.  Forgive.  Don’t keep a record of wrongs…

Do not rejoice in evil, but rejoice with the truth.  I had to look this one up.  There are many translations of the word evil in this text and some of them are iniquity, wrong-doing, unrighteousness, and injustice.  Bottom line – don’t take part in wrong-doing, but extend love in truth.  No, I don’t mean husbands should tell their wives they DO look fat in those skinny jeans.  God forbid.  Wives, please stop asking your husbands that land-mine question!  Rather, don’t love your family with false actions or words.  Let your yes be yes and your no be no.  Love them with truth and justice.  Be intentional in your love and don’t compromise. 

Love protects – and that ties in to truth, and not dishonoring those you love.  Protect them.  Care for them.  Comfort them.  If your instinct is a negative remark, hold it back and think of how you can protect your spouse or loved one in that situation, while still offering truth in love. 

Trust.  This is a tough one for me.  We’ve all had hurts in our lives and we’ve all been hurt by others at some point.  But we must really resist the urge to hurt those we love with our mistrust of their intentions.  Transparently speaking, Anton has told me many times over that I look at a situation and apply the worst possible motives to his actions.  Example: he coming home late from work and I’m upset and accusing him on the phone of always leaving late, and keeping us waiting, and that we’re not important.  {drama!} Three minutes later he walks in the door with flowers in his hand.  He was late because he was taking care of me.  Not mistreating me.  But I assigned the worst possible motive to his delay.  This is what I mean.  And we all have different levels of trust that have been broken – but this is really important as marriage success can often hinge on trust being central.  Same goes for your relationships with your kids and family.  Don’t assume the worst.  Offer your support and trust, and only put energy into situations where there have been clear violations.  Don’t hang your hat on “what if”.

Hope.  I like to look at hope as having a positive outlook.  A hope for good and for the future.  Tie into that encouragement, and you’ve got a lot of love you can show.  Love has hope.  Don’t give up if the relationship with your loved ones isn’t stellar.  Have hope and be willing to do the hard stuff above to make that happen.  Protect yourself from abusive people, and stay emotionally healthy – but have hope!  Pray for peace where needed, and extend grace where you can.  Always try to see the good in those you love.

Love perseveres.  It just does.  This is not rocket science.  This is love at its core.  It doesn’t give up.  It’s always there.  Nothing can separate you from it.  Can you imagine loving your children less?  I can’t imagine loving my children more!  Love perseveres under all kinds of stress and heartache, loss and doubt, good times and bad, hardship and brokenness…it never fails!  Love concurs all.  Nothing my children could ever do would make me love them less.  My love for them will stand true for the rest of my life on this earth.  That’s the nature of love.  God designed it to be so…and He showed us exactly what that looks like in His Word.

In addition to showing the Corinthians love, we can demonstrate tangible versions of our love in lots of fun and endearing and even helpful ways.  My next post will highlight lots of brainstorming ideas and fun ways to express yourself this month to those you love.  Be thinking of the Corinthians passage and ponder on the ways you can work on one, two, or all of the items above.  I know these aren’t easy – but where’s the challenge in easy? 

Let’s have some fun showing love for the next 29 Days!  Who’s with me?

31 Days of Nothing Unhealthy–Final Thoughts

Well, we made it.  Some of us made it with several pounds less to show for it and some of us…not so much.  I for one am glad it’s over, but feeling really reflective. 

This much is true: I don’t think that after this challenge, I can say with any measure of conviction that I’m otherwise “healthy” but that I just have some extra weight, or that I do “watch what I eat” or that I “don’t eat that much” or that I “just need to exercise”. The blame is my own. I am that unhealthy. I am that undisciplined – just look at the battle I’ve had parting with a caffeinated soft drink full of sugar and cocaine soda water. Why should it be so hard to say “I’m not drinking that anymore”? But it has been so very hard. I’ve had excuses for years about my weight. It’s genetics. It’s metabolism. I don’t eat that much, really! (whatevs!) It’s that my knees bother me! (well, they do…) I have no time. It’s too expensive to buy all that healthy food. It’s too much work. It’s depressing. I don’t want to be the odd man out at parties, get-togethers, etc. I can’t live without {insert hard to part-with food item or drink here}. I can’t afford a gym membership. On and on and on and on and on.

Attention: I’m a hypocrite. There very well might be a time, a couple months from now or more or less where you would be able to HURL this entire post and especially this next part back at me with full force. I will deserve it. But for the now, can I just encourage you as I make my way out of this very difficult challenge?

My excuses are just that. Excuses.

If I have sad and sorry genetics and poor metabolism, I need to work even harder to fight the current dragging me down. I don’t have to live with those reasons. Neither do you. I can fight it, and make a difference for myself.

If I don’t think I “eat that much”, perhaps I should try and recall how small the portions have seemed this month compared to my norm. Uhhh, that’s called portion control. And apparently I needed it badly.

My knees do bother me. And my hips. And sometimes my foot. But I have got to move. I cannot sit in my office chair all day and not give my body some time to breath. Even if it’s a walk with the kids, or a Couch 2 5K program, or a bike ride, or roller skating, or ice-skating, or chasing my littles at the park or Wii Fit or a Zumba class or whatever. Move. I have got to give my body a chance to burn off what it doesn’t need.

Saying I don’t have time for healthier living and exercise is like saying “I don’t have time to live longer”. I’m sorry, but it’s true. (points finger to self) Remember that first post where I said “I’m gonna die fat and happy”. Not sure about the happy part – most people who are obese are not all that happy if they’re really honest. Definitely gonna die fat though. That much is for sure. Without change – I have over 15 years of the scale tipping upwards and not down as my proof. Slow and steady, indeed.

Saying that it’s too expensive to buy the healthy food is kind of a cop-out. We have not spent all that much this month on “health” food. We’ve just replaced our standby items (butter, whole milk, cheeses, creams, red meats, sugary cereals, store packaged waffles and pancakes, muffins, white breads and salty packaged foods including chips, not to mention excessive fast-food intake) for healthier choices. Organic chicken and beef broths low in sodium to cook with in place of butter, lots of fresh fruits and veggies, yogurts, skim milk, chicken and fish, healthier cereals, and almost no desserts. You will be amazed what you can find, with a small amount of planning, without wrecking your choices. Also – I’ve been “schooled” this month on what it means to moderate. When the healthy people say “everything in moderation” – they really mean it! After dinner a couple nights we got out some dark chocolate and each had a piece – delicious – but we cut ourselves off at one or two. I have eaten at Taco Bell and have had McDonalds Egg McMuffin – but both times I felt I was doing so in moderation. From several times a week to once a week in a month’s time – that’s a decent shift. I’ll take it! It’s hard work – but it can be done.

Speaking of work – it is a lot of work to shift your lifestyle. I can’t even lie about that. It’s WORK. I realized that I’ve been unhealthy and choosing to do it my way for roughly 30 years. I’ve eaten “my way” for almost my entire life. I’ve literally eaten whatever I wanted – in whatever portion size I wanted – whenever I wanted to. For THIRTY YEARS. Moderation has never been in my vocab. Now, my hubby would argue that I don’t eat that much. But I’ll revert to point #2. Clearly it’s too much, if this is my weight and it hurt shifting it as of Jan 1. Hello? It’s lots of work to avoid everything you’ve known for all those years. It is a comfort and it’s so difficult to let that go and find something healthier to fill the gap. It was hard eating that stupid turkey burger. Yuck! But it’s hard because I wanted to revert to my comfort. I wanted an all beef patty, special sauce, lettuce, cheese….ya feel me? I wanted it my way. The turkey burger didn’t taste terrible. It tasted good. But my mind told me “this is gross…this isn’t how it should taste!” Sigh….

Bottom line is this:  I like the changes I was able to make.  I lost NINE pounds.  NINE! I dropped a serious soft drink addiction.  I cut back on my portion sizes and was able to get a better handle on what goes down the gullet.  I ate healthier and gave myself the chance to remember what real food tastes like.  I exercised (people, that right there….I mean…I need a medal.)  I stayed true to cutting back on sugars and never had one single beef burger or fast-food hamburger.  For that matter, the only fast food I consumed in a month was Taco Bell on three occasions (maybe four).  I’m not counting Chipotle, because it’s just way too fresh and good.  Right?  Am I right?  Don’t tell me I’m wrong.  It’s enough I parted with my precious Coke. 

The point is – I did good.  We did good!  Anton lost over 15 pounds (musahfussa$)(%*#$)($*#(&%#) and learned a new way of cooking his favorites.  These were invaluable lessons and I have hope that we can move forward with them.  Perfect them and keep up the good work that we’ve already begun. 

The foundation has definitely been laid for a healthier lifestyle – and that’s what the challenge was all about.

Now it’s up to us what we do with that foundation…

Do you need my last two days of menu?  Nah...pass...nothing to tell and no cheating.  You'll have to take my word for it!

29 Days of Love – Invitation

 

So Love. Yes, February is the month for sweethearts – and I totally enjoy the colors, the sentiment, and the idea that we celebrate finding that special someone. But let’s face it; this is a Hallmark Holiday if there ever was one.

 

Still, one of things about the Month of Love  that I think is often missing is the way we show love to our entire family. Not just our significant other. So this month, we’re going to focus on showing our love to our household. And if you’re single – we’re going to show love to our extended family. And I don’t need to tell you that “family” is a broad term indeed – many of us have people in our heart that are not related by blood, but whom we consider closer than any family we might have. You know who your family is…

 

In November, we focused on showing thanks for our friends. In December, we focused on our neighbors, our communities, and our world. In January, we focused on ourselves and healthier living. This month, we’re going to extend the true confessions of our heart to those we love the very most.

 

On that note, I’d like to introduce you to February’s 29 Days of Love

 

This month we’re going to work out Corinthians 13:4-7 in our homes (and families) and try to come to an understanding of what Love is really supposed to be – not just romantic love, as Hallmark would like you to think – but as we’ve been created for and with those precious people God has placed in our lives to be our family. Let’s review…

Love is patient

Love is Kind

It does not envy

It does not boast

It is not proud

It does not dishonor others

It is not self-seeking

It is not easily angered

It keeps no records of wrongs

Love does not rejoice in evil but rejoices with the truth

It always protects

Always trusts

Always hopes

Always perseveres

 

In addition to showing the Corinthians love, we can demonstrate tangible versions of our love in lots of fun and endearing and even helpful ways. In a couple days I'll highlight lots of brainstorming ideas and fun ways to express yourself this month to those you love. Be thinking of the Corinthians passage and ponder on the ways you can work on one, two, or all of the items above. I know these aren’t easy – but where’s the challenge in easy?   I’m really excited about this one!!

 

Let’s put our creative caps on and have some fun showing love for the next 29 Days! Who’s with me?

 

If you want to participate, I’ll have an official Mister Linky up on February 1st.  I can’t wait to see pictures of the creative stuff you awesome people come up with.  We’re gonna be burning up Pinterest, aren’t we?!

 

One more day in our "31 Days of Nothing {Unhealthy}" and I can’t believe we made it!  Stayed tuned for my final post on tomorrow! 

Nothing Unhealthy–Days 24 through 28

This is the longest I’ve gone without a foodie update.  I’m here to let you know – I did not give up, I have not fallen off the wagon, and I have not gained back any weight I may or many not have lost.  Quite the contrary – I’m going strong!

I’m here to just give you the basics today, because AB has been out of town for three days and that’s all I have the bandwidth for.  Ya feel me?  People with small children?  Yeah.  So not a lot of great pics of amazing food, not a lot of recipes, and not a lot of energy to hardly remember what I ate.  Thank goodness I had the sense to write it down…

Daily Menus

Tuesday, 24th

Breakfast: 1 cup of Special K cereal – never had it before in my life until the challenge.  Not bad…

Lunch:  1 cup of cilantro lime rice – homemade, and two skinless chicken strips that I grilled up

Dinner: Anton made one of my absolute favorite dishes:  Bright Chicken.  It’s a crème fresh that he makes from scratch, lemon, fresh ground pepper, onion, and chicken chunks – served over a bed of pasta.  This version was low in fat, using Greek yogurt and we added in capers for a salty kick.  We also used whole wheat pasta.  Can I tell you something?  A-MAZ-ING.  Absolutely delicious and it was PAINFUL not to have seconds.  Instead I settled for one serving, which despite the close-up pic, was quite small.  Broke my little over-eating heart…

Wednesday, 25th

Breakfast: Coffee and a piece of toast with yogurt spread (which is like a butter, buts it’s yogurt and much better for you)

Lunch: Scrambled some eggs, threw a tiny bit of shredded cheese on top and added a slice of ham – threw it all on a 7-grain sandwich thin.  It was quite tasty!

Dinner: Small (as in tiny) side of Caesar salad and pasta salad at an event.  Bean burrito and taco later than evening.

Thursday, 26th

Breakfast: Three small pancakes (about 3 inches across), yogurt spread, fresh strawberries, organic maple syrup (about a tbs.)  Can I just say – I am a Mrs. Butterworths girl.  This organic maple syrup has been an adjustment for me, but it is nice.

Lunch: Turkey sandwich, carrots dipped in hummus, half an avocado

Dinner: Sushi date night with the hubby.  Probably had too much, but it was delicious just the same!

PM Snack:  II had some M&M’s.  Not a lot, but a small handful.

Friday, 27th

Breakfast: Special K cereal and a cup of coffee

Lunch: Ham & Low-fat cheese on 7 grain, orange, carrots

Dinner: Went to a girls game night – and had GLORIOUS low-fat/low-cal food.  Green chicken enchiladas with non-fat sour cream and non-fat cheese.  Lime rice.  Avocado, tomato, and mozzarella salad – delicious!  Then there was one small luxury – Sopapilla Cheesecake.  Friends?  It was TO DIE FOR.  I am just hoping it had low-fat cream cheese in it – I was afraid to ask!  EEEEK!  Also got a little to friendly with the apps – bacon wrapped dates, dark chocolate covered almonds, gummy bears.  But to be fair, I had three almonds and 1 gummy bear – which I’m telling myself made up for the 3 wrapped dates.  Cough. 

Saturday, 28th

Breakfast: Grapefruit while my son and daughter enjoyed this massive chocolate chip pancake funny face:

Don’t tell me that doesn’t take willpower.

Lunch: Grilled ham and cheese on 7 grain, using low-fat provolone

Dinner: Spaghetti with organic low-cal marinara that was actually delicious!  My kids cleaned their bowls!


****We have two more days in this challenge – make them COUNT!

For those of you with Netflix or other means, I encourage you to watch the documentary “Fat, Sick, & Nearly Dead”.  It was well made, a fabulous learning experience for me, and very inspiring and encouraging.  Perhaps even something I think I might like to try.  I’d be curious to hear your thoughts!