August 28, 2007

To Nursery or Not To Nursery - that is the question...

Well, I need help...
AB and I recently considered the question of what to do when our son comes home (early '08?) as far as "space". My friends - we are at an impasse. Granted, I'm not sure how steep the impasse actually is (sometimes I can win these by pouting a lot), but it's certainly been the object of some debate over here in our home. We cannot seem to agree on a nursery situation. No, no - not a nursery as in "which bedding should we choose" (though I would like it to be noted on the record that the set at left is the set I WANT!) - a nursery as in, should our son have a separate room from our little Keira?

Now, ladies out there - is this even a question? I don't know - am I so out of touch that I want him to have his own room? Is this strange that even though he will be little and, I admit, unable to grasp or appreciate that he has his own space at such a young age - surely it will matter eventually?

Here's the dilemma. We have a three bedroom home. Our master, our office (I work from home) and Keira's nursery. Upgrading to a bigger house within the next five years is not on the table. Building on - not gonna happen. My thought is, convert the office to his room and convert a portion of our overly sized master to the office area. Admittedly, it would be tight and a little bit cluttered. His thought is to let the two kids share a room (so what that Keira's room is PINK?!?!) and that it won't matter. By the time it does matter to them, say five years from now, we can move and get a bigger place.

People - work with me? I know you don't want to take sides, but I would like to enlist some help to settle this debate. I think we're all agreed that once you have kids - life changes, things get cramped, spaces get changed, stuff gets made baby-friendly, you put safety grips on doors and plugs, and you make overall sacrifices of time, sanity and space. Am I right? Well, I'm willing to sacrifice my office space so that he can have his own room. AB feels it's a waste of space when the baby boy could potentially pass Keira up by being home up to a year or more ahead of her - thus taking her room over for a while.

Ya'll - I can't be putting my boy in that pink girlie-girl room! I can't! It's KEIRA'S room in there. I've been waiting for her for two years. I have been planning and planning and all her little things are in there, and it's HER space. I can't stick a boy in there? Can I??? Well, AB thinks this is part of the sacrifice. The ideals in exchange for the reality - we live in a smaller house, I work from home and need an office, he won't know the difference, etc.

Help a sistah out? Take the poll above and tell me what you think we should do!

I'm counting on your response - we need to settle this the old fashioned way...via Blogger Poll...well, ok, that's not technically the old fashioned way, but just go with it! And if I'm right, I get to buy that bedding set and prepare to start decorating a bright and happy boy's room?!? Right, AB?

Should we create a 2nd nursery for Baby Boy?

A. Definitely Yes! He needs his own space!

B. Couldn't you just re-paint the nursery you have for Keira and make it a double?

C. Definitely No! Why waste the time and money?

I tried to do the poll on blogger and it's down, so if it ever comes back, I'll switch this to a real poll. Meanwhile, vote through comments!


Erin said...

As much as I love Anton, I can't agree with him here. If you were coming home with another little girl, then yes, it would be just fine for them to share a room. But I grew up with a brother and I would have never felt comfortable sharing a room with him, no matter how young we were. Boys and girls are just different and they need their own space. And as far as your nursery - that is KEIRA'S space. You decorated that with Keira in mind, it is very girly and even though Baby B will be here first doesn't mean that she should lose her room that you so lovingly put time and energy into for HER. You really do have the space for him to have his own room. Yes, you will be cramped but what home isn't a little cramped? Your master bedroom is plenty big enough for an office in there.

The bottom line is you will have a boy and a girl in your home and will therefore need a boy room and a girl room. They both need to feel comfortable in their own spaces. And even if you only live in your house for another 5 years, Baby B will be 5 and Keira could be almost 6. Can you imagine them sharing a room together then? I can't - the mere thought of sharing that space with my brother at that age, well, I just can't. They need their own space - plain and simple - and since you CAN do it, you SHOULD do it.

Just my .02. Love you!

4D said...

I can see the practical aspect of sharing but I am leaning more toward A. They need their space. It is Mum and Dad who will have to purge things to make room.

Keep smilin!

Mya said...

Move your office in to your room and give your son his own space too! I love the way you decorated Kiera's room, please don't change it! We have a small home too and its a little tight now that we are home but its not forever! And you mentioned your a clean freak....well kiss that goodbye! I am constanly cleaning and it never looks like a did a thing!
Good luck

Lili said...

OOOOHHH fun...polls. We Moms 2b like to give our opinions. :) Drum roll please.....I am a STRONG B!! They are babies....they can share a room. They might like the company since they have most likely always had other babies nearby. I also work at home, we have a 3-bedroom house, if it was me I would have a double nursery...all the baby/kid stuff in one room --practical, right? Your home office is important, don't discount that. I personally feel that the master bedroom is not a place for is a retreat, right? It sounds like a pain to have to change the pink, but you are getting a little boy next year! Yippee!!! Good luck with your decision. I hope you make the best decision for you and your family. Not everyone will agree. :)


Anonymous said...


If your master is big enough, move the office.

He deserves his own space and Keira's room is just for her. I am tempted to go out and buy some of that bedding for you to help you win!

Anonymous said...

Hmmmmmm, well, none of the above.

I think for the short term, you make a part of your master as the new babies nursery instead of the office. Reason is, well did you put your doggies in another room when they first came home or did they sleep in with mom and dad?

He will be an infant in a new place with no one he knows, are you going to put him in a room all by himself? Why not buy the things you want, set it up in your bedroom, you always have Keira's room for now when you need a little "alone" time. This will give you time to reorganize your thoughts and figure out what is really best for the children and not what mom and dad want. You may have to downsize your office and put up a room divider in the master when Keira comes home and then make the office in your bedroom and give him his own room. For now keep that baby close, he needs to feel you are there and not down the hall. This is a new life for you guys and for him as well. I wouldn't even consider putting a new puppy down the hall in another room, until he was feeling safe and secure, to bring an infant home and not have him right there would not make sense to me. Thats just my 2 cents. But it would give you more time to be in your office and more time to figure out how to set things up. When Keira comes home you should keep her in your room for a while as well.

That's all. Hope you find the right answer. With much love,

Anonymous said...

I am going with Option A. Do you have a Formal DR to make into a home office? Oversized entry? I kinda don't like the idea of having the home office in your bedroom. You know, feng shui. Umm...but hey, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do. So feng shui be damned if you have to office out of your bedroom because I really LOVE that bedding. Too cute!

Anonymous said...

Most definitely option A... A little boy has to have his own room. Sorry Anton : )
Love You.

Robyn said...

Well, I already gave you my two cents but I will repeat it here just to get in on the debate.

DO NOT MOVE THE OFFICE TO YOUR ROOM! In addition to all the work you do anyway you sure don't want to be further tempted in your bedroom.

You and Anton move into Keira's room and use your extra large bedroom to house both children, if you want seperate space the room is big enough to seperate with either a divider or a temporary wall.

The bedding for baby boy is adorable and I think you should definitely get it!

Deep down I already know what you are going to do but I will keep it to myself and see if I am right!

Kim said...

I say you move the office to the master..
They both will have their own rooms..
Have a Great Evening.

Pug Mama said...

fo shizzle.

Dan, Misty & Ashar said...

I keep hearing how sleeping is such a hard transition because they are used to sleeping with other little ones. You have a built in solution! They sleep together. Plus, pink is the new black;) I think I'm outvoted here though!

Anonymous said...

AB weighing in here, if it's not too late ...

First off, I am disappointed that my own FAMILY is going against me here (LORI!!!) Jeesh, throw me under the bus ...

On the other hand, other family (Yeah, Deany!) Had GOOD advice ... I liked that, too. Move him into our room, And then when KJ get home she will be inheriting said space, and the boy can go some where ... else ... which we can debate LATER ...

And Yeah Misty!!!! Thanks for the back up. He's going to be Freaking 5 or 6 by the time we move, and he STILL won't care that his room *was* pink ... We could modify a little anyway.

My parents grew up in post WWII Holland - Dad shared his room with Brother and Sister - took a bath once a week - etc, etc ... So all of you who say they HAVE to have their own space ... jeesh, how did "the greatest" generation survive? :)


Jodi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Jodi said...

I just have to give my 2 cents. Though I have only met y'all a few times at adoption meetings I have followed your blog...
Some things to think about... who is the room for?
When you are talking an infant, the room is for the parents. The baby doesn't care about any personal space - his personal space is his car seat, bouncy chair,mommy's arms. He wont care what the room looks like. Yes, we love to decorate but remember it is really for the parents.
if you decide to put the kids together in a room for a while they could really enjoy this. I know many bio-twins that shared a room until they were 6 or 7. Kids love to have someone with them, night time can be scary. We have a 8 year old whose 11 year old sister doesn't want him sleeping in her room so he continually sleeps in the hallway next to her doorway. Just to be near to her.
Redoing Keira's room does not mean you don't love her anymore. You are bringing her brother home too! She will be much more thankful for that then what her nursery looked like for months before she came home.
Our home is crazy crowded, with no move insight. We wouldn't have it any other way. Communication with your kids can get lost in a big house - more places for them to hide. And as they get older they hide even more.
Just wanted to encourage you either way. We had to move our office into the dining room - but our precious girl will need to share her room with her sibling when we adopt again.

Hope y'all come to an agreement!
Good Luck!