Hi ya'll! I’m off for the weekend to attend the WOF Conference with my M3 Posse, except my girl Valerie who is otherwise “engaged” in a huge life change at the moment (love you girl!!! Next time!!). I’m really looking forward to this weekend, because one of my FAVORITE artists, Nicole Nordeman is performing!! Yahoo! So, I’ll be going blogger silent for a few days, but I’ll be back to regularly scheduled programming by Sunday night, I’m sure, with pics to share from the event! We're even staying in a fancy schmancy hotel - how fun is that!?!
Did you know…
- That in the 5th grade I insisted on dancing solo to “Holding Out for a Hero” from Footloose in front of the entire student body at the “Talent Show”. Oh yes, I did. For special affects, I hung magazine clips of Ralph Macchio on the back wall and danced around them. This went over very “well”. Unfortunately, my father was video-recorder happy and caught the entire unhappy incident on tape. Fabulouso!
- That in the 7th grade I was invited to a sleepover as the grunt. You know; the one who gets all kinds of ungodly things done to her as soon as she goes to sleep. I was determined to stay up, but after we played “Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board” and I strained my fingertips trying to lift one of the girls, I had had enough and fell asleep. The next morning, I was told to look in the freezer, where I found my bra in solid form. Despite the fact I had my bra frozen…I am the only one in the 7th grade who could have claimed to have a C cup at that stupid party. Jerks.
- That I was picked on relentlessly by an 8th grade cheerleader who threw dirty socks at me every day in gym. That is of course, until I had enough and lost my sanity for about five minutes. I threw her up against the lockers and told her some choice words that I blacked out on immediately following. Needless to say, she never bothered me again. Hey, I’m a lover, not a fighter, but I can only take so much. (But seriously, are you sensing a theme here? The school years were rough.)
- That if I laugh too hard, I literally will pee my pants. It’s not just an expression for me. Knowing this, my family goes out of their way to bring about said peeing. Case in point: one night while watching a “Funniest H*me Videos” with my Mom, we got completely slap happy over a sequence of men getting hair removed from their backs. It was the funniest thing I’ve ever seen. Well, we laughed so hard we had to pause it and it took several minutes to stop crying and laughing. We ran it back and watched it again and this time we cried and I peed. No lie. Well, my little sister was capturing our laughter on video (unbeknownst to me or my Mom) and so after we had settled down and I had changed my underwear, little sis breaks out the video of us watching the show and laughing until you hear me scream on the tape “I’m peeing!!!! Stop…Stop…I’m peeing!!!” Well, watching this causes more extreme laughter and I pee again. Oh yes, I did. Now every time I go home, that video finds it’s way out and we all find ourselves in fits of laughter all over again, and me, of course, wetting myself.
- That I was in the 6th grade and in school when the Space shuttle carrying Christa McCollough, the teacher, blew up on live TV. We were watching it in the classroom and were totally shocked. I went on to write a poem about it that won 2nd place in the school district. My mother graciously has referred to me as a “poet” from that moment on.
- That my first job was at Miller’s Outpost – for those that are unaware, this was where you bought only the coolest of the cool jeans – Levi’s button-fly, tapered leg. It was 1989 – cut me some slacks! (Ha…I made a funny…I said “slacks”….) Straightening hangers one night, I heard “Smells Like Te*n Spirit” by Nirv@na for the first time in my life. I was brought on as seasonal help and let go in January.
- That I once almost drowned in the ocean. Someone saw me get pulled under by the waves and didn’t see me come back up. Next thing I knew was getting yanked up to the surface by said onlooker and taking huge gulps of air mixed with salt water. Not the way I wanna go, I can tell you that.
- That even though I graduated high school with a B average, I cut math class in the 9th grade 52 times. I hated math - still do. My poor Mom.
- That I played the violin from 5th grade to high school and then gave it up. I couldn’t read music, but played by ear and eventually it caught up with me when we moved on to the serious orchestra style music – I couldn’t quite match the measures and rest, because I wasn’t reading them like the rest of the kids. I got found out and lost my first chair seat. What a crapper!
- That I am the one who cold called and asked AB out for the first time and I am the one who kissed him first. A fortuitous behavior for which I was playfully mocked at my own wedding reception. To put an end to the guffaws running around the room as the joke was told by a well-wisher, I simply stood up from my table and pointed to my newly sparkling wedding band. Enough said!! Laughter ensued.
- That when AB and I were dating, I threw him a surprise 30th Birthday party at a nice steakhouse. The theme? Scooby Doo, including hats, napkins, and party favor bags with the Mystery Machine mini-cars in them. If you’re gonna do it…do it tacky, that’s what my Aunt Alda always says…
- That as an adult, I do not usually dress up for Halloween. But one year we were at a party and I decided to go as a witch. Not my preference, but it was a costume party and I had waited until the last minute to get a costume. So it was either that, or squeeze into a child’s size version of Holly Hobby. The ultimate crash at said party? When a small child approached me and asked why I hadn’t worn a costume. Excuse me while I get on my broom and fly home, little worm. This IS my costume! Am I that scary looking all the time? I thought the purple wig, pointed nose, and long flowing black cape would have given it away? I’ll get you, my pretty! And you’re little dog too!!
- That when we moved to Texas, I pretty much cried for four months straight and went home to California three times in that four months. It was a rough transition to leave everything I had known and my family and just live somewhere else. Now I couldn’t imagine leaving
- That I love peeling and picking. Don’t come around me if you’re peeling from a sunburn. It will literally take all my power not to reach over and help you off with that coat of skin. Seriously.
Now come on…did you really already know all that too?