August 9, 2007

Adoption or bust?


Well, I guess I should have considered how eerily complicated it would be to start a new adoption process while renewing an old one. We're trying to renew our 171-H docs for Keira and re-do the homestudy, etc. all while filling out and completing the new dossier paperwork for the babies. For those not familiar with adoption processes that take years (I just wrote years...sigh), your paperwork does expire within the US and you do have to re-file, re-fingerprint, renew, and horror of horrors, re-pay. Such a deal, eh?!? Yikes and Yowsa! Somebody get me an bottle of headache medicine! This is nuts, trying to come up with all this $ - but we took the leap of faith and we're standing by it. Lord, please provide and fast!!!

AB had one of those "super-hubby" moments last night when I asked him how we were going to pull this off financially - and a super "UGH" question popped out of my mouth "why didn't we ever consider a surrogate?" He very eloquently said "because we decided a long time ago when we were staring down the path of our options, that if we were going to spend $40K, we weren't going to spend it on ourselves (i.e. fertility treatments, IVF, Surrogacy) but on children who have no family and are already born and need two parents and lots of love. We decided we were going to open up our home and our hearts to the 'whatever' God had in store for us".

Weepy...and a good reminder that I had temporarily forgotten in the midst of the struggle we now face. And please let me clarify that we are not at all opposed to those who seek the options we did not. Nor are we "anti" having babies the good old fashioned way. We're actually quite grateful to our parents for having us. (Now, I'm giggling..because I feel I have to say this for some who might take offense) In fact, many of our friends and family have relied on these avenues and have beautiful families because of it. Our dear friend just found out she is carrying twins through a successful IVF treatment. So no issues with that - but I think, for us, we knew...we just knew...way back when the problems surfaced that those really weren't options for us. We knew deep down that we were being led down a different road and so when we realized that God was directing us down the path of adoption, we committed to go the distance, though at the time I confess I had no idea just how far that would be.

Having said that, it is not easy to go the distance, as so many of you adoptive/adopting parents know all too well. Long ago someone wrote on their blog (after I had just become LID) that "adoption is not for the faint of heart - the process alone could emotionally fell a grown man or woman". I totally thought this seemed dramatic and over the top. I thought "how bad can it be?" But let me tell you - more roadblocks and stumbling points have been thrown up since we made the decision of adoption for our family, than I can count out in this post - but we willfully plug along and hope and pray that sooner rather than later we will have our babies home and at last loved and cherished as much in the flesh as they have been in spirit. There's a spot for all three, right between us on the bed - right under the fluffy down comforter and in between a mom and a dad who have worked oh so hard to bring them to that place.

Meanwhile, I'm losing hair daily by the handful. So, without further ado - we need to win the lottery, fast, and we need our babies home.

No giving up...no giving in - Mommy and Daddy will find a way to get to you...all of you.



10 comments :

amy said...

LOvely last night and sounds like you have a wonderful hubby!

Kelley said...

You will (and have) endure(d) with a smile on your face and God will provide!

Woot woot for the friend carrying twins!

Love you, miss you and can't wait to see you tomorrow...
K.

Paul & Robyn: said...

I applaud anyone in any way they choose to build their family.

Keep your chin up....it will happen!!

Love ya!!

Anonymous said...

It is amazing to me that all these little children are without families in America and other countries, they just want to be loved and have a family. Why then, why, does the paperwork make it so difficult. You don't have to go through any of this to "give birth" to a child. You can be the worst person on the planet but there is no paperwork or checking you out to see if your fit to be a parent. Once it is established that you have no criminal record, no child abuse issues, have income and a home, and can afford the cost to adopt, (which should be just the cost of the paperwork to be done)then give us the child already. What the, to quote your MP3, FRIG!! Did I spell that right, I use the other one, ya know the bad one, but not very often ;-) This is so upsetting to me because as you know Mark and I would have adopted and been great parents if the adoption process did not make it so very difficult, your under a microscope. More power to you guys, lets try to start a movement to get kids a home instead of making a profit on their little lives! I admire your will and ability to deal with this, you are very loved. Hang in there, it will happen and the money will be there.
Love and hugs
deany

Isabella's Mommy & Daddy said...

You will make it.. you are strong people..
This process is so much of a rollercoaster..
But you are strong..
Have a great weekend.
Kim

Anonymous said...

Adoption is not for the faint of heart - nor the poor. That is something that really gets me; so many wonderful families, held back from doing something so wondeful by something so as trivial as money. The adoption journey is often a bitter one; but the reward is sweet.

You will find a way.

Love V

Jeter's Mama said...

somehow I missed the post about the twins!!!
Holy cow!!!!!
Congrats ( I just went down and reread!!)

Elise said...

I can't imagine how difficult it must be going through more than one adoption at a time but it will be so worth it in the end! You are both going to be the "bestest" mommy and daddy ever to ALL of your children!

Doris & Dan said...

A wonderful post and reminder. Thx! AB is awesome.

What does not kills us makes us stronger. No matte how, we will all find a way.

Keep smilin!

Room for Grace said...

Love that last line. Hang on!
I wish we were so loaded we could write you a big fat check right now. I really do.
Praying!
Dena