May 10, 2011

Today alone…

I can list several things that didn’t go according to my make-shift parenting manual: (and this is truly all from today! – be glad I’m not listing yesterday’s trials!)

1.  My son woke up at the crack of dawn and proceeded to climb in bed with me and shout “wake up, Mommy…mornnng tine”

2.  That same son played “drop the toy you can’t live without behind the headboard”, and consequently unplugged our lights, chargers, and clocks in doing so. “Mommy! An acccccccccccident"!”  Uh huh.  Sure.

3.  He then locked himself in the bathroom and proceeded to get on the potty for an, ermmm, extended session – if you catch my drift.  Then couldn’t get off said potty to get the assistance he needed.

4.  My daughter used her play comb on the dog and somehow it got stuck momentarily.  Long enough for the dog to walk around with a pink plastic comb stuck to her head.

5.  Two reports came back from two different schools for Mr. Q on this fine Tuesday:  First he dumped his lunch on the floor.  On purpose.  Put yogurt in his hair.  On purpose.  Then he pinched a kid.  When asked why, he made a “grrrrr” sound followed by a vehement “Mommy! Boy push me!”  Ok.  We’ll give that one over to self-defense.  But yogurt?  In his hair?  People.  Please?

6.  At some point, and I can’t pin-point the “when” – Quint lured his sister into our very small kitchen pantry and closed the door.  With her inside.  Screaming.  And him, on the outside.  Giggling

7.  A session of “let’s play outside” turned into chaos when somehow – someone under 3 feet tall smuggled out an entire backpack full of play food and decorated the backyard with it.  I’m not naming 3 year old names though.

8.  After the pizza came out of the oven, I sliced half of it and plated it up.  The other half succumbed to Q trying to do his own version of slicing with the pizza cutter.  I swear, I turned my back for less than .05 nano-seconds.  Criminy!

9.  A big brother might have taken it upon himself to smash his sisters hand in the cabinet, in trying to keep her out of it.  “Mommy!  An acccccccident!”  Uh huh.  Sure.

10.  A little sister took it upon herself to “wash up” and went to the bathroom, stood on the stool, turned on the water, pumped the kid soap – oh say, 15 times – and lathered herself up head to toe.  And the counter.  And the floor.  And the cabinets. 

Which was temporarily funny enough to capture on camera.  Until she decided it would also be fun to “wash her eyes”…

I can’t make this stuff up people…

Bedtime could not have come soon enough today.

Those of you with toddlers can relate!

Those of you who remember all too well the toddler years – can send me your pity. 

And I wonder why I have no time to write anything of substance on here.