June 3, 2007

Mr. Toads Wild Ride

Ok - since it's technically 2am for me, TX time - I'll make this fun for all of you - I'm slap happy at this point. I hadn't even been in town for twenty-four hours, when while making a left turn, a person who can only be described as both the world's worst driver AND a frigging IDIOT - crammed into the side of my lovely little (2008) rental car. This, as my family and I were headed to the theater to see Shrek 3 and have a little fun.

No one was hurt - but the guy wanted nothing to do with me calling the police - he said he and his wife had an important dinner to go to. Just wanted to exchange info and leave. I said "sir, if you leave...it will be a hit and run - we disagree about who is at fault". This made him VERY antsy, but he stayed and 30 minutes later - the cavalry arrived - two cop cars and four police officers emerged on the scene and took over what would become a THREE RING CIRCUS!

In the real world, we have fender benders or minor accidents and we get out and say "man...what just happened...are you ok? Am I ok? Ok! We're all ok, let's talk about what happened and get a police report, and exchange numbers and info, etc.". Then you go your merry way and cry alone that it even happened at all. Well - not for me...no siree.

Here is the circus of actions the BUFFOON erupted into in bullet point for your reading pleasure:
  • He couldn't give me his license and then said "oh, my wife was driving - I'll get her info for you". Let's just clarify HE WAS DRIVING. Then came back and said "she doesn't have it with her....someone will bring it". Yeah, right!
  • He pressed and pressed for me to exchange what little info he had and just to let him leave...yeah, right (again!)
  • He didn't want me to call the cops (are you getting suspicious yet?)
  • He paced frantically back and forth between my car and his, accusing me of running into him, while his wife did the same. I just had to laugh...they were crazy - there is no other explanation.
  • An elderly person showed up and put the accused's two small children in the back of his car (no car seats) and then the IDIOT starts to get in the car with him. I called out "sir, you CANNOT leave...you were driving...you MUST wait for the police". To which he said "no...I wasn't driving...she was...I need to go...". Not so fast FREAKO - here come the BAD BOYS BAD BOYS WHATCHA GONNA DO now, so ha! They saw him and out jump four cops - two women, two men - all totally buff saying "Sir...stay where you are. Where are you going?"
  • I give my story to a nice female cop.
  • He yells his stupid version to the other three. They are clearly already not buying his version. I see them arguing over who was driving the car - the cop get in the IDIOT'S car and it's clearly way too far back for this very short woman to have been driving. They have her get in - it's apparent she was not driving. They literally laugh and say "please, don't lie to us...that's just dumb". I have to suppress my snickering.
  • The IDIOT man continues to exacerbate the police officers. He's yelling, he's pacing - he's following them around and acting like a fool - and the officers have to issue warnings like "Sir, step away from our car"...and "Sir, do not follow my partner or I will tackle you to the ground"....or how about our favorite..."If you yell at me, I'll yell at you...so tell your story and be done with it, but don't you dare lie to me again". It was like Barnum and Bailey.
  • Then we hear the cops telling the man "well, looks like you have a suspended license. Ever been arrested sir? You have? Ok, for what? Ohhhhhh DUI? Had anything to drink tonight sir?" And ma'am, where is your license? At home? Let's look you up....come over here. OHHHHH, WOW....(laughing cop)....another suspended license for...a DUI! - why am I not surprised? It's just gets better and better with you two!" says my hero, Mr. Police Officer.
  • Then I overhear "you're both getting tickets for driving with a suspended license and your car is getting towed...and that sucks, doesn't it?"
  • An hour later, I am given a police report that says they can't determine fault!?!?! What the heck? The officer tells me that because it's technically "he said - she said" - they will be filing a case, and there will probably be no determination made of fault for the actual accident." Hero Schmero...hmph! How about "if they weren't driving with a suspended license I would never have been hit...how about that?"
Went to see Shrek when it was all over with. Left the IDIOTS with the cops. The worst part of all this?............

Should have opted for the stupid freaking expensive car insurance at the stupid car rental place. I have my own so I thought...it'll be fine (ha...stupid, stupid, stupid), but it would have been so much easier to walk away with no cares. Sucks!

I'm fine - no one is hurt. Except my checkbook, I presume.

Frig! (for V)


A Mom- In-W8ing said...

So sorry to hear you had to deal with this crazy chain of events. I would have been soooo ticked!

Hope the rest of your trip gets better!

Smiles! :o)

Polar Bear said...

What a jerk!

I am really glad no one was hurt. I hope the pocket book doesn't take too much of a beating.

Robyn said...

OMG!!!!! We let you go away for 4 freakin' days and you try to get yourself hurt!! What the frig????

Imagine my surprise when i saw Anton at church this morning and he asked me if I had checked your blog. I told him I did yesterday but you hadn't updated. So he proceeds to tell me this story and then I have to immediately come home and read it for myself.

I am so sorry this happened to you but so grateful that no one was hurt. Now hurry up and get Ashely graduated so you can come home and we don't have to worry about those crazy Cali drivers!

Love Ya!

Briana's Mom said...

Wow! And all you wanted to do was go see a movie! What a nightmare1

Kelley said...

Girrrl! What the frig?! Anton gave us a brief version this morning at church that was certainly not as funny as your written version. I'm glad that we can laugh about it and that no one was hurt. Hope it doesn't damage the old check book too much!

And, congrats to your baby sis!

Love you,

Elise said...

Sorry that happened. I got hit two years ago by a man who had a suspended license and no insurance..I feel your pain, but like you no one was hurt and that is the best part.

Hope the rest of your trip runs more smoothly.

4D said...

OMG! That is so bad but yet so hilarious. You go girl!

Enjoy the rest of your visit!

Keep smilin!

Stacey said...

Good Greif! What a pain, but would have made a great clip for the Tube. Glad to know you are ok, try to get home in one peice. Stacey

Unknown said...

OH dear, you totally kept my attention..I just wanted to know what was going to happen. Im sorry about all of that!

Donna said...

What a nightmare...I'm just happy the IDIOTS didn't hurt anyone. I can't believe they didn't get a ticket though!

Anonymous said...

I am so glad you are ok! The good cops (to come) bad cops (for not noting the obvious...two drunks can't drive a car) suck.

I think this whole What the frig thing is going to take off big time and I want credit when it does! ;-))))

Love you,


Anonymous said...

Ok now, we are not all crazy Cali drivers!!! : )
It really was funny, honestly. Ashley kept saying that maybe we should just leave and go see Shrek and then Christie could join us, but I said, heck no, this is the most fun and excitement we've had in ages!! Rod and I cracked up at that, especially since it was true!
It really was like being in an episode of "Cops", which Rod loves, so we were totally in it. Christie was a real champ, usually she would kind of lose it on something like this, but she was really standing up to this little shrimp. We were really glad the little ones didn't get hurt. All in all it was a real experience.