September 9, 2010

Bang Head Here.

Stress Kit


Today was a difficult day for mothering.  A difficult day to look in the mirror and be proud of myself. 

One non-existent step forward for Motherhood.  One giant leap backward for Christie being a mother.

And guess what else?  My kids love, I say, LOVE melting down in public.  It’s like their secret handshake “thing”.  We get out of the car, we enter whateveryourmama building and they freaking freak out and lose their ever lovin’ minds.  Like they’re winking and giving the “now” nod to each other and then screaming and wailing and gnashing of teeth commences.  No really.  It’s like baby drama for yer mama drama for yer mamas mama.  For real.

Also?  I cried like three times over the span of twelve hours.  And don’t e-mail me and tell me I’m depressed.  Freaking newsflash police!   Of course I am.  I’m pretty much sure that, save like three people on the planet, this phase of having two little ones (or more for some of you out there – bless your saint’s heart) all day,  all the time, all day….all the time…it’s allowed.  To be a little depressed on certain days ending in “y”.  Ok to be like “frig…forget it!  this sucks!”  Or like talk through your teeth so much you get a bit of a jaw ache, and issue warning after warning to all people under 3 feet until you're a bit hoarse?  Just me?  Sure. 

Oh, and also?  I’m pretty sure my kids know exactly how to make me want to pull my hair out one individual strand at a time.  They do.  They’re geniuses like that.  Yes, they truly are.  And I’m going bald.  Geniuses.

Like pushing each other.  Scratching.  Biting.  Throwing toys, often at each other.  Climbing all things dangerous.  Stealing remote controls and shoving them out the dog door.  Throwing food.  Eating dog food.  Tormenting the elderly cat.  Tipping the water bowls.  And essentially running amok until I’m talking through my teeth and issuing final demands and warnings until I’m hoarse. 

Another side affect is repeating myself…which I just did.  I just repeated myself.  I issue warnings until I’m hoarse.  Did I already say that? 

And before you think I need a firmer hand?  Stand aside.  This is the House O’ Discipline.  Yes, it is.  And I am no softy to bad behavior.  Valerie, can I get an amen?

I would like to say that I’m not complaining, because they’re great kids and all.  But let’s face it?  I am complaining.  They are great kids.  They’re robbing me of my youth and giving me Tourettes, but yes - they’re great.  Terrific even.  Beautiful.  Wonderful.

Part of this Motherhood gig, I think?  Is really stressful.

Ok, so where was I…ah yes.  Step 1.  Place kit on FIRM surface….check…


frogglet said...

It was just a difficult day, everywhere. I hate it when people tell me to hang in there so I won't. Hope tomorrow is better for you.

Anonymous said...

I can't speak to the mommy thing because I'm not...unless you count my fur and water babies lol. All I can say is, you are a great example of unconditional love. I see it in your posts and have been blessed to see it in person with little man. I hope when my time comes I can practice that unconditional love just as well as you do everyday, and be as great a mom as you are to my little niece and nephew! Love and Hugs from Cali!

P.S Be nice to mommy kiddos! :)

Christie said...

Thanks, Tia Maria...we love you so much!

Holly said...

Sounds like a King sized Zero bar kinda day :)
I homeschool AND we are adopting a toddler with several medical needs. Some days I wonder if I might be crazy. (yep!) :)
I do understand. We all have days that feel like Epic failures!
His mercies are made new each morning! :)
Big hugs,

Anonymous said...

Feeling you girl...JT just told me today that he didn't like me and wanted me to go away...did someone say vacation???
Love You,

sawheeler said...

You are a GREAT mom - I am sure of that! My one little 2.5 year old does all those things...thus, for both of our recovery, we try to make sure he goes to his favorite 'school' otherwise known as they daycare he went to when I worked full time...I beat myself up for days after a bad mama failure day! Still thinking about staying with China...what the heck am I thinking???
Tomorrow will be a much better day!

Stephanie said...

All of us mommies have days, weeks, years like that, but the good still outweighs the bad. :)

Funny story from dinner tonight. My twin boys were been particularly naughty this evening and I turned to the one not currently in time out and said are you just looking for more of mommy's buttons to push? He then started making electronic button noises and pushing at the air. He got a good laugh out of me for that one, 22 months and already a comedian.

M3 said...

Yep, some days just SUCK, don't they? Today was a bad one for me too.

Tammy said...

I USED that Stress Kit today!! :o) It was a bad day for a lot of us, it looks like! I feel for you Christie! I had to laugh out loud - not AT you, but more because you put it all so succinctly! Praying for you that tomorrow will be more of a reminder of the good side of things... and for all the rest of us, too!


Valerie said...

Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen, Amen....I was just lamenting to hubby today at lunch, remember when it was just us and the yorkies? Those were good times huh? Simple, good times.

Sigh....I take solace knowing it will only get more difficult with time and hope G*d is watching as I'm trying to impress him with my ability to hang in there.

Just so you know people, when I really want to get my kids in line I simply say: "What would Aunt Christie do? Do you want me to do that too?" They always say a wide eyed "no".

I bow to thee, you are a pillar of strength and I know the lord is truly impressed ;-))

Love V

Cathy said...

I love reading your're honest , and just plain funny at the same time. Just wanted you to know that. thanks.

Michal said...

Maybe you are my cyber twin mama!!!! I swear I have been stuck in a rut of teeth gritting, yelling mind loosing parenting lately. And I have to say that I know that I am only part of the problem! It's like you say- they KNOW how to press your buttons.
I just told my husband last week, and this is a direct quote from the middle of a self critical rant " I do not want post adoption depression!!!!! It's stupid and I just don't have time for it!!!!" He just busted a gut laughing at me and said that I should put that on a t-shirt and lots of adoptive mom's would buy it.
So I chuckled as I read this, not laughing at you but laughing WITH you and thanking God I wasn't alone.
Hang in there, they do grow up. But then that isn't much comfort is it? I mean you go a bit bonky with them at this age but then cry over the loss of the babyhood at each new centimeter or accomplishment.
Parenting is not for the weak of heart.

Michal said...

Oh and oodles of praise to you for being a "tough mama". We are like that too, we expect the kids to maintain some self control. I love seeing other folks teaching their kids how to behave and walk the line a bit. And my sister uses ME to threaten her son and keep him in line, sometimes she calls me to straighten him out! :)

Rebecca said...

I'm a blog stalker and I just wanted to say, I feel your pain. When I feel like that (fortunately less often now!), my mom tells me that the scriptures day "And it came to pass" and that this too shall pass. Some days are just meant to be endured and that's a victory, so Congratulations, you made it through the day!

sweet momma luv u said...

I am so glad it just wasn't me!! I really think some times I just am an aweful mother. Trying to referee gets so old and wears me out. The kids know how to push each other's buttons too Uggggg....

I so want a built in escape sometimes. I so look forward to nap time which once in awhile can be me time! Forget the laundry,hosehold chores, fixing dinner etc. I just need to relax and destress.

Love your blog and your honesty!

Diana said...

I will tell you my little secret on how I survied when mine were younger..TARGET!! Once my husband came home I left and went to Target. I walked the whole store..I looked at all the great clearance spots. I bought stuff (sometimes I even brought that stuff I bought back the next day as I really did not need it)..I just walked all around..and then I came home a better mom with patience again:) Gosh I love Target and its magical powers:)
(I always said "some people go to Therapy, I go to to Target!!"

Becky and Naing said...

This is why I love reading about your daily life, it is so like mine, but I don't put it on paper as well as you do. Having a 2 1/2 and 1 1/2 yr old has made me loony. literally. All I do all day is say don't touch, put that down, don't hit, get off of that...etc...
but then i think back about the stress of my other carerr when i worked outside the house and at least at this one I can yell if I want too:)

Eloise said...

If any mother with two young children tells you the experience is not exhausting and demanding, the woman is either delusional or has other people raising her children. You are deep in the trenches, but let me tell you, it does get better. When my three were little, a dear older friend told me, "The days are long but the years are short." So very very true.

Hang in there, sweet friend. Can we schedule our long awaited get together soon?


Kayce said...

I have so been in right where you are for a week now! Ahhhggg! Thank you for always keeping it real and sharing with us that we really aren't alone like we feel on the really bad days. Hugs to you my friend!