April 12, 2009

Hard to say

I'm trying to think of words to say that will express my feelings here. I just can't seem to figure out what I want to write down.

My Dad will have surgery tomorrow morning at 10:30am PST to remove a large abscess and his spleen. His doctors have been fairly transparent. They are going into this with their guard up. The surgery results are "tbd" - as in "let's see how he does". We are down to the wire and this is his last hope and option. The bigger concern is the recovery and possibility for infection. He's imuno-deficient (sic?) and can't handle much in the way of any bad side affects from this operation.

I took this picture and actually thought "please, oh please don't let this be our last picture together"...

It was not comforting (sad but true) that the staff at the hospital let us have as many people in his room as we wanted, let us stay well beyond the close of visitation, or that they asked my Dad to tell them whatever he wanted for dinner and they made it happen. More than all that - that Dad seemed content with the outcome of his surgery tomorrow - whatever that may be.

It may sound grim, but we've had to somewhat prepare ourselves for the worst and yet pray and hope for the best...

And we are... we're praying for a complete healing and successful surgery and recovery. But we are not in total denial about his current odds, given his health issues. This has made it very difficult for us to leave his side tonight - knowing we would not see him again until after surgery in the morning. Lots of tears as we hugged and said goodbye - not sure of what tomorrow would hold for us.

He said he loved me. I told him I loved him so much. He whispered in my ear "you're the greatest" and I had to choke back tears. I'm doing it now too...

Quint sat on his bed for a bit and we laughed together as he made his Grandpa grin from ear to ear. Quint was gentle with my Dad and almost seemed afraid to hurt him - as if he could sense that his Grandpa was not well.

I'm lying if I don't type that my gut is all wrong on this whole situation. But I'm still praying for a miracle.

My Dad is 59 years old...just 59

Would you pray for him too?


25 comments :

Norma said...

I will.

Mya said...

Your dad is in our prayers!

Young Creations said...

Christie,
I am praying and thinking good thoughts. I have a good feeling that your dad will be waking up tomorrow to see your beautiful smiling face. I just know it.
Lauren

Catherine said...

Prayed for your dad, yourself, the doctors and nurses. ((hugs)) Christie.

Isabella's Mommy and Daddy said...

"BIG HUGS"..
You will all be in my thoughts..
Love ya girly..

Linda said...

Prayers being sent to your Dad and your family. Extra prayers for you and your family that Dad will be there for Quint and Kiera as he has been for you. Prayers also for the Dr's and nurses taking care of him.
I'm sorry you have to go through this , but keep the Faith that all will be well.
Linda

joefiona said...

Prayers coming from Wisconsin for your Dad and for all of you! God is with you! Fiona (a friend of Kelley's through adoption from China)

Sue said...

I just recently started reading your blog. I will keep your dad in my prayers today.

Keep the faith...miracles do happen. : )

Sue

Dawn and Dale said...

I'm praying as well Christie! God is good and I'll pray for HIS hands to be the one operating on your dad today!

God bless! Thinking of you lot's!

Dawn

Cora said...

Praying for your dad and your family.
Hugs!

Kayce said...

Your dad will be in my prayers all day Christie. Lots of hugs.

Kramer said...

I know your Dad's surgery is this morning and I wanted to let you know I am sending up prayers for him, your family and the entire surgical team that the operation is a success and your dad will be on his road to recovery. Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way!

Briana's Mom said...

Oh Christie - I am so sorry. I am saying prayers.

Betsy said...

Love your blog... delurking to say that I will be thinking of you and your family today. Take care.

blissfully caffeinated said...

My thoughts are with you today, dear friend. I'm praying that he pulls through.

julie said...

Of course!

amy said...

Sweet girl, consider it done

S.Wise said...

Christie my prayers are with your dad and all of your family today. Hang in there... I know it is so very hard. Big hugs.

Emy said...

Praying!!!

Single PAP said...

yes, prayers for you and your family.

Pug Mama said...

sending prayers

sooze66 said...

Prayers for all of you.

3D said...

I hope that the outcome was positive. I am keeping all of you in my prayers.

Keep smilin!

meme said...

Christie - Prayers coming your way.......

Anonymous said...

Thinking of you...

Shelli