Do you think they meant "Terrible One's"

I'm not even playin' ya'll. This is nuts. For the past month, maybe a little more, we've been experiencing mass hysteria daily as Tiny Terror, aka "Q-man" wreaks his special brand of havoc on our home and, oh yeah, on my nerves. Frazzled doesn't cover it.

Let's break it down, shall we? Oh come on, what else have you got to do...laundry? Dishes? Leave em...they'll wait while I give you my own laundry list of crazy.

Most of the day is spent in an emotional and mental war of the minds. Headstrong toddler versus pig-headed Mommy. Cranky/whiny 1-year old versus now even crankier/whiny Mommy.

If he doesn't get his way - LOOK OUT. My people, run! You better make for the hills, because stuff is about to be flying around the room. If he wants your cell phone, and let's say...you don't want to envision your cell phone in 60 pieces - and so you say "no" calmly to this tiny cute boy - expect the immediate reaction of him falling on the floor, sobbing, wailing, maybe even hitting if you're in close proximity. (oh yes, I just said "hitting") He will then re-attempt to gain what he wants (add infinty) until you either cave (rarely) or he wears himself out having a tantrum (likely), or you are sucessful in distracting him with something else (not likely).

This event unfolds many many times a day with each thing my independent exploring all-boy curious little wonder comes across and decides he must either possess or conquer. Folks, it ain't pretty.

• He climbs onto and stands on chairs, rocking chairs, tables and side tables
• Pulls DVD's and books off the shelf in chubby handfuls
• Turns on and off the TV over and over and over
• scopes out and finds all remotes and quickly changes settings and channels
• steals cell phones and calls Tokyo
• throws books and toys out the dog door in large quantities
• Crawls out the dog door himself
• throws books and toys into the kitchen and laughs hysterically
• pushes his grubby fingers through the screens when the windows are open
• manages to get into the garage by cleverly figuring out how to open the door
• pulls paper out of my printer and throws it around the room
• empties any garbage can he can find
• or...dumps over the kitchen garbage can. TONS of fun.
  
• throws toys, shoes, calculators and anything else he can find into the garbage - never to be seen again
• Runs away from you, every chance he gets (especially in public)
• Runs from you in the house, finds the closest room, and slams the door - locking himself in until one of us come and open the door. He will literally go into our room, close the door, enter the master bath, close the door, enter the master closet and close the door. It's like a maze trying to find him
• Opens the lid of the toilet. We'll leave it there.
• Eats the dog and cat food every chance he gets
• Puts his hands and toys in the dogs water bowls
• Throws food, plates, bowls, cups, forks and spoons from his highchair - every meal
• Turns his head in a huff if he doesn't want to eat what you want him to eat
• Seeks out the cat to pull her tail and slap at her. Don't worry - I don't let him ever get close enough and neither does she
• Tries to eat rocks everytime he's outside
• Picks up picture frames and throws them
• Pushes his rocking chair and rocking horse over and claps
• Pulls dishes out of the dishwasher and strews them around the kitchen
• pulls the standing lamp over
• Pulls on the living room drapes
• throws the cushions off the couch
• pulls the diapers out of his diaper can
• throws his shoes in hard to reach places
• pulls his nightlight out anytime he is in his room
• unravels toilet paper
• dismantles my bathroom basket of hair products into the bathtub
• removes shoes and socks EVERY. Single. Time. he's in the carseat

Let me point out to you, before those of you that will - think that I'm raising a completely spoiled brat. First, I think so much of this is his inherant need to explore and conquer. I get that he's curious. I get that he's learning like a crazy sponge. I don't just "let" him do any of the above. It's just that he moves from one to the next, while I run frantically around behind him saying "Quint, that's a no-touch" and "Quint, we don't do that" and "Quint, what are you doing?!?!" and "Seriously?? Seriously???" and "Mommy is losing her mind today...please don't touch that..." I could keep going, but you get it. I'm not just letting him run rampant. He just moves from one bullet point to the next and starts all over when he's finished. My days are full of those bullet points lately.

Now add in the temper tantrums, the independent nature and strong willed streak, and stir in the crying and whining - I'm just saying...

Before I get rolled eyes or unwarranted advice, let me clarify:

• I love Quint from head to toe - more and more all the time
• He is sunshine in our life
• He makes me laugh
• I love being his Mommy
• I could eat him up
• He's a pill
• He's all boy
  
• I need stock in Excedrin

*Anonymous - it's tongue in cheek. Jeesh, lighten up. Of course it's parenting...hello? Duh? Making a big joke here about crazy one year old behavior...

And second, you'll note I did say that I didn't really want unwarranted advice, (guess you just couldn't help yourself, eh?) and third...you're IP address is soooo cute! Thanks for that!! I love knowing who says these things...

Third, could you read someone elses blog from now on? No, seriously? Really. I insist. Bye now. Buh-bye.