That's the Chinese symbol for Six...
Hi Keira! Here's a recent picture of Mommy...I know it's not what you expected, but just you wait. I will be able to do all the stuff the other Grandma's can do! Don't you worry! By the time you get here, I will only be 67. That's not THAT bad. Mommy heard about a woman on the news who gave birth to a baby at 70. Don't worry about Daddy, he wanted to send a picture too, but he didn't hear me when I called for him - but he is still alive and kicking. At least, most of the time. Whew, it's almost time for bed here...7:00...but I want to get this letter off to you, so I'm going to finish it up...
I've been thinking about how nice it will be to teach you to walk! Won't that be great?!? My knees aren't what they used to be, so I might need a few minutes to straighten out after bending down to reach for you...in fact, better skip the bending altogether. Mommies hip is acting up again, ever since the Red Alert button on my Life Braclet broke and I was stuck on the bathroom floor for nine hours. I tell you, the hospitals aren't what they used to be! There used to be places you could go and younger people would be there too...and babies being born...now it's only old folks wearing diapers and hollering obscenities at the staff. Well actually, that was just Daddy...but don't worry. He only drools sometimes now...
Oh yes, I wanted to tell you how much I can't wait to hold you and sing you lullabies! Of course, my memory isn't what it was when I started this adoption...back then I used to know lots of...what was I saying? Oh yes, singing...hmmm...Mommy keeps forgetting what we're talking about. Daddy says my memory is slipping, but actually, that's just his way of telling me that my memory is slipping...wait...didn't I just say that? Better move on... 
I've been knitting you a few things here lately. Just since we started the process. It keeps my mind occupied while we wait for you, but Daddy says you won't need to have eighty-six blankets. I just keep telling him that having a lot of blankets is good for aches and pains in your legs. What does he know?!? He still thinks I'm silly for getting one of those red ropes installed in front of your room and putting a sign in the door that said "keep off carpet". I was afraid someone might mess up what has now become an antique collectors paradise of "baby items". We have people come by the house all the time to view the "Window to the Past Nursery" (I made that name up - do you like it?) and I have started charging for admission. Can you believe that when we started the process to adopt you, our home was brand new? But don't worry...Mommy will definitely get the inspector out to check for dry-rot and un-safe structural conditions before you come home.
My, oh my, how time flies! Why it seems like just yesterday Daddy was helping me install handrails in the shower and next to the toilet. Here's the best part, Mommy had a new ramp installed outside so I can get in and out of the house faster with my walker. Don't worry though, I only use the walker sometimes. Usually only when I'm standing...or walking. Daddy has to borrow it on occasion, ever since he forgot to open the sliding door before he walked through it. I think his eyesight might be getting a little weak. The other day he asked me where his glasses were and they were right on his eyes! Can you believe that? Speaking of glasses, I got my very own tri-focals this weekend! We might need to be careful when we snuggle, because I don't want to scratch you with them, but Daddy sure likes them on me! He says I look two or three years younger with them on...isn't that nice?
I really like to read, but I have a problem. I start a book, then stop. Then start it...then stop. This goes on for a while and then I get bored, move on to another book, come back to the original book and so it goes...
Who told freaking "Timmy" that having a little Ant Farm would be cute? Who ever decided to invite these annoying, horrible, nasty little things into their house in the first place? Some fool who later found them vastly multiplied and only a small sign in the farm that said "Moved to the Pantry" - I guess that's when he finally understood why some things are better left to Raid.
the master bathroom. By now we're sweating. And P.O'd. Big time. These little jerks were doing the party dance all over my house... So, now that we're de-stressing from the pet drama...I open the pantry to get out the "Swifter". Good thing I did too....you say it for me this time! Go ahead...ALL OVER THE DANG PLACE. I'm telling you...these suckers were on steriods. Some of them were like four times the size of the average ant. They were huge. Others were small and quick...but not too quick for Raid. Muhhhaahahaahahahaahhhhh! 
I look at them and see little horns and beatty eyes...invading our home...our pets food...our food! Criminy, I'll be lucky if we all aren't dead by morning from the vast amounts of toxic Raid in the air. I do take some pleasure in the fact that the Ants that ventured in the house are dead. I picture that somewhere tonight in ANTLAND, all the little ants are lying on their couches watching the nightly news and listening to the breaking story of hundreds of workers trapped in a human house and exterminated via "The Gas". Missing Ants posters will be up by tomorrow morning and the ant factory will have to relocate for awhile...
To say I have met the most extraordinary women on this journey and to say that they have become near and dear to my heart would truly be an understatement. What started as a social lunch once a month quickly grew into bonding with some of the kindest, funniest, and special women I've ever known. We all share the same agency, we all are adopting or have adopted from China, and we all - though different in many ways - are bonded through our journey and now, through our wonderful and amazing ability to relate to one another as friends and "sisters". There really is no explanation for it. Why should these women be different from any others? I've tried to socialize in groups before and it never came to more than very basic interactions. The truth here, is that there is no rhyme or reason to it.
Although, I will say this - the other night we got together for Movie Night at Valerie's...and my gosh...I haven't laughed that hard in months! I can't remember the last time I had so much fun! We all laughed and laughed...and so many things came up that have now immortalized the night in our minds...for more on those, you must go visit Valerie's blog! It is absolutely hilarious what she wrote (and so true).
Once upon a time, I was single and those were the good ole days. Whatever I wanted to do I did, and wherever I wanted to go I went. I took trips to the library, walks to the park, and spent quiet time at home planting flowers and watching old movies. Dining for one was a treat because there was never a fuss about what to eat or where to eat it. Projects were simple and necessity was the mother of my inventions. I killed the spiders that crawled out from under my pantry and celebrated when I fixed the leak in my toilet. Yes, those were peaceful times. There was nothing to keep me up at night and no one to make demands on my time. Life was content and quiet. But maybe sometimes a little lonely…
Suddenly, one hot August evening I met a man who would change all that for me. He smiled and I was sold and truth be told, he didn’t even know I was alive. Mistaken for the mother of one of his students, he assumed I was “taken”. Three short months later, we met for coffee and have never been apart since. Fate worked out the details on how we got to that point and there was never a better first date or first kiss. Love was in the air and I was smitten and swooning after being in his arms for ten minutes.
Soon after, my beloved was on one knee in front of hundreds of people asking for my hand and I gladly said goodbye to my single life. After all, my life with him was so enriched and so much fuller than I ever thought it could be. The old saying goes like this “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage”…but fate had other plans for us.
The first couple years of wedded bliss passed by and never was a couple more in love than my darling and I. We set up house and even got a dog. Eventually we even got a second puppy. We took walks with our dogs, and delighted in their newly learned tricks. We would actually even surprise company with mini pet shows where we would proudly display the things our dogs had learned. Life was good and we were having fun learning to be a family.
And soon the seeds of parenting, that were planted by having our little canine pals around, grew into full-blown desire. We thought about all the things we would do together as we happily plotted our blue-eyed blonde haired children. And so began the hopeful and naïve step into child conception. Several months passed and we watched as our friends around us conceived with seemingly little more than dinner and a movie. We laughed it off, shrugging our shoulders and silently hoping we were just out of sync. Several more months passed and still no glorious revelation of pregnancy. In fact, several pregnancy tests sat on the bathroom counter well into the night, in the slight hope that the second line would eventually decide to make it’s presence known. To no avail…
Summers came and went and we did yard work while neighbors happily passed by with strollers in tow – out for pleasant walks to the park. This only further served to encourage us to “get to work” on project baby. Still, weeks turned into months and months turned into three years of unsuccessful bargaining with God.
Everywhere we looked, pregnant women glowing with love floated in and out of our paths, their proud husbands standing by to carry their coat and open their doors. Friend after friend called or wrote with news of impending childbirth, and we made calls of celebration, even though our own hopes were slowly fading out like a summer sunset. Family barbeques and dinners with old friends rendered the same question we had heard time and time again “when are you two going to start a family?” We finally had come up with witty answers like “oh, haven’t you met our four-legged kids…they were a pill to deliver?” or “we are a family…children are the addition to what already exists”. Needless to say, most of the time, we just smiled demurely and feigned ignorance. A simply shoulder shrug often did the trick and was quickly followed by a change of subject. Only those near and dear knew our true struggle. We were facing the beast of infertility - crappy, low-down, no-good friend that he is. Hope turned to rain. Dreams turned to darkness. One day we found ourselves talking about the future, the one without the children we so desperately wanted, and we consoled ourselves with this:
Yes, once upon a time we would be old and long married and those would be the good ole days. Whatever we wanted to do we would do, and wherever we wanted to go we would go. We would take trips to the library, walks to the park, and spend quiet time at home planting flowers and watching old movies. Dining for two would always be a treat because there was never a fuss about what to eat or where to eat it. Projects together would be fun and simple and necessity would be the mother of our inventions. He would kill the spiders that crawled out from under my pantry and we would celebrate when we fixed the leak in our toilet. Yes, these would be peaceful times with no distractions or worries, like the ones kids would undoubtedly bring. There would be nothing to keep us up at night, except the sound of each other snoring, and no one to make demands on our time. Life would be content and quiet. But maybe sometimes a little lonely…
Once upon a time we will be parents and long married and those will be the good ole days. Whatever we want to do we will check to make sure it’s kid-friendly and then do it, and wherever we want to go we will wonder if she will like it too. We will take trips to the library, walks to the park, and spend time at home playing with toys and watching Disney movies. Dining for three will always be a treat because there will never be a dull moment watching her jam daddy’s good eats into her little mouth. Projects together will be fun and messy and necessity will be the mother of our many inventions. She will probably pick up the spiders that crawl out from under my pantry and we will celebrate when she goes potty on the big-girl toilet. Yes, these will be glorious times with plenty of distractions and worries, like the ones having a child will undoubtedly bring. There will be nothing to keep us asleep at night, except the sound of her peaceful breathing, and only our lovely toddler to make demands on our time. Life will be content, yet blissfully chaotic. But never lonely…
For the last four years, I haven't spent much time in memorial or rememberance of this day. I guess because it's so depressing. Out of sight, out of mind. Easy for me to say and do, since I didn't have to lose someone I loved or cared about that day. But it truly was gnawing at me this year, and so I decided to record a lot of the programs that have been airing about 9/11 (documentary style programming) and have spent the last several days watching all of them. I have to say, I am just so humbled. I have cried and cried. The humanity! It's so devastating. Last night, Anton got up from sleeping and came to the living room to find me crying on the couch, watching the remainder of a program I was already almost two hours into. He laid down and put his head on my lap and we snuggled. I told him how much I loved him, how he is my best friend, and how I never want to be without him. I ran my fingers through his hair, and touched his cheek. He just had his eyes closed so peacefully, and I just thanked God for him right then and there. The thought that he could leave the next day and never return put so much fear in my heart and I was filled with love for him and all he is to me.
Why is it, that when you get my favorite group of gals together at a place where the food is great - and we're all in the mood for good conversation - that you have to insert the bad waiter.
Hi all! Just wanted to post and say "I've got a new look". NO - not a new look for myself, although the picture above is mighty fine - I think I was ten and I thought I was "ALL THAT". But as you can see around you - I've been into the color pots...
2. Above I am now 16 and a Junior in highschool and this is my date Denny, who is now an MD (go Denny!) I think it's his Junior Prom...no, scratch that...maybe it was Homecoming? I can't remember. My mom loves this dress. I do too, I guess. What I really can't remember is ever fitting in anything that small! And that hair...don't say I didn't warn you about my early nineties wall of hair!
3. Ok, now I remember. This above must have been Homecoming, because this is my Junior Prom. I did not wear a fancy schmancy because I went to private school and we didn't have dances, we had "Banquets". LAME! Anyway, I'm 16 and this is Korey, who I had the biggest, fattest crush on. He didn't even go to my school, but to my church. I don't even know how I got the courage to ask him to come? Wish I could remember...I hate getting old!
1. Here I am above, adorable if I do say so myself. I am seven and in 2nd grade. The year is 1981. Man, I'm cute!
This is an all time favorite because you gotta love the split screen picture. How 80's can you get? This is 4th grade and the year is 1983. I was 9 years old. Loved that sweatshirt!!
3. Ok, jumping ahead, or we'll be here all day - this is my Sophomore year of highschool. The year is 1988 and I am 15 years old. I am smiling just like my Dad here. He smiles so big that his eyes become hard to see, like little slits. I do that too sometimes...
