Photo taken by AB ~ Guangzhou, China
Right now, we're resting
Putting into words what we experienced as a whole
it's just too much for now
even though I keep pondering it
thinking about it
hoping to expend the vastness of it
put it down somewhere
somewhere that it can be looked at later as a tiny roadbump
or maybe just a season
to be honest
We're still tired
Still emotional
Still forcing our tired bodies and minds to recall the timezone
and the children,
they're resilient, yet they too are resting in many ways
We've had a life change that supersedes most all the others
Life and Loss take priority and top spot among all changes
we're celebrating new Life
but our little one is still mourning deep Loss
so we are sharing two extremes
and finding them not ready just yet to meet in the middle
we prepare for what we can, even four years worth of preparation
we make way for change
but you can't really prepare fully
you can't know before hand what will be after
how it will look
how it will feel
how it will rest on your heart or your soul
You can wait and watch and listen
you can love and be still
love and be still some more
you can't expect
you can't arrange things neatly
you can't do anything to speed it along
just love and be still
So...
Right now, we're resting
Resting our bodies, our lungs, our still tired limbs...
Resting our minds and our thoughts...
Resting our reflections and our emotions...
We're resting
When the story is ready to be told
I'll be writing it as I have done before
Love your children...and be still
13 comments :
So beautifully written. What a beautiful family you have. Best Wishes!
"you can't expect" - sooo true! hang in there, the progress will move forward, even if it seems microscopic some days. it will.
i'll pray for you as i go about my day today.
Beautifully written!
rest my friend. There have been so many new changes and as you so beautifully put it, you need to rest.
Big Hugs,
Christy
I am so glad you blog these things! It really helps me with our process. I know everyone has a different story, but if I can mentally prepare with some ideas...thank you again.
I will be here when you are done resting..
love ya tons..
Hugs..
You have SUCH a gift with words, Christie, such a beautiful way of expressing the deeply felt sentiments of that vast, bottomless heart of yours.
You are a wonderful wife and mother. Trust your instincts on how to nurture your family the best right now. You are immensely wise and resilient.
XOXO
Thinking of you often, and wishing the best for you all as you meld together as a new family of four.
-- kelly :-)
That picture of the flowers is great. Glad you are trying to rest and hope you are feeling much better. ~Holly
You are such a wonderful writer. Rest your soul, your body and your heart... so you can continue to provide for your beautiful family.
Can't wait to follow you on this side of your journey!
You write so beautifully what many of us feel upon coming home with a child who has deep, deep grief. We had a VERY difficult time with my second baby when she came home at 8 months old. People think that when you bring home such a young child, you can escape a lot of the issues associated with bonding, attachment, grieving. Well, that is not true. Be still...it may take a while, a long while, but you will all come out on the other side.
I can so relate to you..
So beautiful Christie, take your time, I will be here and so will everyone else.
Love and blessings, Kristy
Christy - so beautiful and so true. We feel it too. Trying to deal with the new and blend it with what is....but the first time that little hand points to that plump cheek for a kiss, or runs to you for a big hug or for comfort. The grief is there in all of us somewhere just under the surface...and the loss of things we don't even remember. Love you all!! Ann
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