Change channels now if you're easily wounded...

Ok - that's it! I'm officially BENT BETTY! I just got an e-mail inferring a possible 24-36 month wait and apologies for the long and unpredictable process that this adoption has become.

FRICK FRACK FRICKETY FRACKETY SON OF A GUN MUSA FUSA SHOWSA CRAPPITY DOODLE FREAKING DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I want to rip my computer off the cable and hurl it out the window...

I want to scream at the top of my lungs "this isn't FAIR!!!!!"

I want to cry and rant and rave about all my friends who are adopting and some ahead and some behind who are all feeling this same way...

I want to spit nails in the general direction of China...and my agency (can't help it...just mad in general to all those taking our money)

I want to throw myself from the highest ledge just to see if it hurts worse than this...

I want to close the door of that beautiful nursery and not open it until I have a child to put in that crib...

I want to fly over to China, grab our file and throw it at the first person I see who can actually make something happen and say "HERE! Here's a family desperately in need of their daughter...who are hurting and angry and frustrated and just want to be a family...! Here! Take this and match it RIGHT FREAKING NOW!"

I don't care that every couple months we get a new notice about how they have to close the offices over there and take another break...

I don't care that we're told there aren't enough babies to match with waiting families - because it's crap - Asia has one of the absolute highest number of orphans in the world.

I don't care that the Olympics are coming or that the Chinese New Year just ended (a freaking month + ago)

And I don't care that every time I turn around we hear more excuses about why things continue to slow down more and more.

SIMPLY PUT: JIMMY CRACKED CORN.....and you guessed it....I DON'T FREAKING CARE!

I would like my daughter now...It's been 20+ months since we started this process and almost 13 since we were LID. Now the wait is at 18-months and I'm just freaking out of patience. This is re-freaking-diculous! I feel lied to and cheated and ripped off and like someone just took my heart and occasionally takes it off the shelf to crap all over it and give it a little kick and then put it back in it's petri dish for more observation of how the human heart survives separation from their most beloved treasure.

To make people wait this way...to make them put their lives, the hopes, and their dreams on hold. To have people in a never-ending limbo game. To have children sitting in institutions one minute, one day, one year longer than they should ever have to...

It's just borderline disgraceful...

Shame on them...

HIRE SOME STAFF FOR GOD'S SAKE!

HIRE SOME PEOPLE TO VISIT YOUR ORPHANAGES AND EDUCATE THE STAFF ABOUT HOW TO SUBMIT AVAILABLE BABIES PAPERWORK SO THEY CAN BE PLACED FOR ADOPTION (and not freaking grow up in an orphanage by the hundreds of thousands!)

CRIMINY! We're supposed to be moving forward in this process, not backward. Why do I get the feeling this process will only get worse...???

I'm STINKING FED UP!