April 25, 2011

On writing lengthy posts…

It’s stressful around here.

I keep trying to write some glorious posts and nothing comes to me, because everything that's too large and overwhelming and consuming comes to mind – and frankly, all of that is too hard to write about.  Too time-consuming.  Too big to get my writing around.

I could write lengthy posts to tell you that:
  • Quint is struggling and so am I.  We cannot find a groove in our new schedule.  And when and if we do, find that groove, it will be summer break.  And it will all be for naught. Cruel, I tell you.
  • For that matter, when I say struggling – I mean SERIOUSLY.  We cannot find harmony.  He is testing, pushing, testing some more, pushing some more, and making me far too frustrated.  I feel hopeless some days.  I’m not afraid to tell you.  I’m not sure I’m seeing much light at the end of my tunnel right now.
  • Keira will be two in a little over a month.  People, she was 7 months old when we came home last year.  How is it possible? 
  • We have been sick.  The kids and I.  And I’m not sure if it’s pre-school cooties, or just germology or just bad juju.  Either way – I’m so tired of it!  So tired of ear infections, runny noses, coughing, hacking, wheezing.  And so tired in general.  Not to mention poor little Quint had the Croup twice in a month.  I didn’t even know that was possible until it happened to us.  Now his ears are draining green puss as of tonight.  Done, I tell you.
  • Last week I got an unexpected blow to my faith that I was just not prepared for.  I should have been – but I wasn’t.  The good news (no, the great news!) is that amazing and faith-deepening things came out of it – and I would love, LOVE to write about it-  but I just don’t have the energy (see bullet point directly above). 
  • AB is in production and this show is taking a huge toll.  On him.  On us.  On life.  We have two weeks more of this and then it’s over.  I’m not entirely sure we’ll all come out ok.  I mean, that is to say - "we" will be ok - of course!  But for his career.  Just changing how things might look - because we cannot continue in this way - the toll it takes is far too difficult to keep up.  (Isn't that right, honey?) And isn’t that just sad?
  • I’m weary of holidays.  How did that happen?  I’m just ready for a break.  We move from November to April so fast and so many holidays live in there.  I’m ready to just STOP for a bit.  Mother’s Day in May.  Father’s Day in June.  July 4th.  I mean, they just keep on comin’.  Sigh…
  • I am so behind.  I would invite you over just so you could see what I mean – except that would be a terrible hazard for you.  To come over.  To have to step over the mess that is my house.  Hazard.  Embarrassing.
  • And also?  The weather in Texas?  Sucks.  It’s humid.  It’s hot.  And it’s hailing golf ball sized pieces of ice.  And it’s hot.  I can’t make this up people.  Don’t ask me how ice and humidity and heat are sharing space.  It’s lousy.  On the upside, my grass is getting very green.  On the downside – we aren’t exactly enjoying lovely days and flips flops.  Cabin fever in April is miserable with two little ones.

So I could write about all that in detail – or I could give you the Cliff Notes (you just read them) and ask your pardon for my lack of posting. 

I need some inspiration that is not related to stress. 

Come on blue skies…(figuratively and literally!)