April 3, 2011

Waiting to say…

It’s been over a year that we’ve been home from China.  Actually, a year and two months and some days.  And I’ve promised you a post about Keira for a lot of those months, weeks, and days.  Many times I’ve written and said “I’ve got a post in the works” or “More to come about her” or “it’s time to talk about Keira”.  And so far, nothing.

Maybe you didn’t even notice.  Maybe you did.  Either way, this is not that post. 

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I keep trying to write “that” post, and the words aren’t coming.  Maybe because I can’t quite put her into words, try though I might.  I can’t quite “sum up” for anyone what Keira is to me or what we’ve learned about each other this past year and two months and some days.

This is actually a different post altogether, but it is about her. 

And all I really want to say for this post is that Keira is my heart

She is my heart, friends.  And my daughter, through and through.

I love her in a profound way that I guess I just didn’t anticipate.  I guess we could all say that of our children – but for me, she’s different. 

Somehow.  Some way. 

And I can never think of my heart being without her.

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And I guess I just wanted you to know that even though I haven’t said a whole lot about her this past year – it’s brewing and bubbling up and coming to the surface.  Soon I suspect.  I’m feeling the words coming to me.  Sounds strange maybe – but they have been elusive because I have not known how to even begin to describe her to you.

Just you wait.  You’ll see what I mean when I can get this old heart to talk to these old hands and put it on “paper”. 

She was worth the wait. 

She is still. 

She always will be.


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