So here's the thing; I don't know about you, but I tend to find myself having more and more "whew" moments the older I get. You know, like "with age comes wisdom" and all that hubbely bubbely hindsight is 20-20 stuff. Case in point:
Whew...sure am glad I got all that grocery shopping done today, because it's gonna snow tomorrow. (No, literally. Snow. It was 70 today. Gorgeous. Now? Snow. Monday? 70 again. So, I'm whew, but I'm also grrr.)
Whew...good thing I saved those size 2 diapers, because it turns out soandso's new baby could use them, even though Sister Pudgy could not. And I say that with affection. Because she's a dear, sweet, adorable, yet slightly pudgy baby girl. And she's all mine...in all her size 4 diaper-goodness.
Whew...looks like it's time to dye those roots again. Gray shining through? Holla...
Whew...I'm so over exercising. Seriously. Over it. And I have an ever so
lovely adorable bearable tolerable enlarged hourglass figure to prove it.
Whew........(that's all, I was just short of breath. It happens with old age)
And this morning, when I least expected it...a big "whew"...swept over me without warning when I walked into my kitchen and saw this:
and just like that, I was inwardly thanking God. Remembering that stupid mistake I made that He helped me to correct all those 15 years ago.
That time when, foolishly, I accepted the proposal of a man who was clearly not "the one". Everyone knew it. Even I knew it. Still, there I was - 20 and engaged to Mr. Terribly Wrong For Me.
And maybe there's another post in there about moving across the country to prove myself right, only to end up proving myself wrong. About making bad choices full of pride. About learning the oh-so-very-hard-way that allowing just anyone access to your heart comes with such staggering life lessons - those I would rather have avoided in so many ways. Maybe that's a post that will need to be written.
Still, in this moment...this particular "whew" moment...I thought to myself:
Thank you for this wonderful man who wakes up every day and chooses to love me - even when I'm a tad unlovable.
Thank you that he loves his wife and children and takes the time to cherish them. That he sees our unique charms and dotes on us, each one in different ways.
That he was found sitting on the floor of our kitchen, having cereal with our bright, happy, inquisitive little boy - and a couple of Backyardigans too, it seems.
That it seems nothing is too inconvenient for him when it comes to loving us. Nothing too big, nothing too small, nothing too difficult. He just loves us through and through and takes joy in finding ways to show it.
and I almost missed that. Could have. Would have. Were it not for the grace of God!
Whew...that I married him. That I was smart enough to make a good choice that ultimately brought a wonderful man and these two beautiful babies into my life.
That he loved me back...
You know what I mean?