It’s not a question of love.
There is no shortage of love over here.
I love them – add infinity – add infinity.
But loving another person the way I love them – good grief…
the vulnerability is alarming.
I can’t even put it into words how nuts they make me.
Day in and day out.
Like they were born to push my every button
and smile while doing it.
Making me gray and crazy and feeling like I’m drowning.
Who are we kidding, I was gray before they came along.
And other days? Just joy. Tired, yes. Exhausted really.
But joy. Deep down. A feeling of total privilege.
That I get to be their mom.
Total abandon to let them have all of me.
Totally vulnerable to their love.
Living for it, some days.
Some days, I just want to shout “freeze” to the clock
that keeps ticking in life.
Stop right there.
So sweet. So tender.
Don’t take them with you, time.
But we’re usually a temper tantrum away from
wishing those thoughts away.
Wondering if tomorrow will ever come.
Wondering if it intends to leave me here forever.
Haggling over uneaten meals, routines,
scattered toys and too much laundry.
Wondering if this is my life.
Thankfully, it is my life.
Thankfully, the Love always wins.
Love trumps all.
Their Love. And the Love I bear them.
Love endures even when I feel I can’t.
Love never fails.