30 Days of No Defense reaches an end…

So I bet you might be wondering “whatsuh happenin’ hot stuff” with this month’s challenge “30 Days of No Defense”? 

Well two things: first of all, there are 31 days in the month, so I’ve decided to defend myself mightily on the 31st for all the things I’ve been avoiding on the first 30. Ahem. (kidding, jeesh!) Second, it’s going as well as my posts have indicated. Which is like saying “blech” or “boo-hiss”. Like that. 

When you say you’re going to do this or that or the other? There are usually 1,000,000 reasons why those things fall apart in your hands. So we’ve had a month intended for “No Defense” which has turned into a month of “Defend Yourself”. No really. Like every little thing that could be argued about or disagreed upon? Yes, this is the month in which it has become LIFE ALTERING not to argue about it. We couldn’t put these things on hold, say, until next month. No. Too easy.

Sigh.

So those people sitting on opposite sides of the couch down there?

That sums up October.

And that is to say: be careful what you think you can tame over night. Especially if it’s your tongue. When you say you’re going to change a bad behavior or work on a tough spot – look out, people. You heard it here. Not nearly as easy as I thought it might be. We have struggled much more heavily with this month’s challenge than I ever thought we would. I knew it would be hard, but I didn’t know how discouraged I might get when I saw just how much we rush to our own defenses when things don’t come out how we plan. Clearly this challenge has shown us how much work we truly have to do in this area of communication, gentleness, kindness, and just loving each other better. Yeah. Not so bueno.

The good news is - we see better.  Where we need to work.  Where we need to change and how.  Where we'd like to be.  And buddy do we have our work cut out for us.  A mountain of it.  But the desire and the love and the commitment to make it what it can be - all there.   And that's one of the best things that came from this month - just the realization that despite having to address some tough habits, we're in this for the long haul and willing to keep plugging away at that "mountain".  Baby steps.  Proud of us for trying - even if the results were less than stellar. 

Tomorrow starts “30 Days of Giving and Thanks” – click HERE to read all about it and feel free to EMAIL ME or sign up in the comments if you’d like to participate AND/OR blog about your Challenge so we can follow along too!

OH!  And Happy Halloween!  

I've got the cutest Iron Man and Monster EVAH'!!!

A Year of Challenges

OK!  Here is some exciting news for the Year of Challenges! 

I’m going to be posting the upcoming Challenges three at a time – and we have our very own TAB (look up there!  CHALLENGES…hooray!) to keep track of what’s coming and what’s already taken place.   If you want to take a look at what’s coming  - here’s your sneak peak and you can always check the tab across the top too. 

I’m a planner.  I like to know my options, and what I need to do to prepare.  So I started thinking it might be nice for those of you who might like to participate to have that same information.  This will give you the chance to decide if the challenges (all or some) are something you or your family might like to do also.  And it will also give you the time you need to really consider it and decide if it's right for you. 

• The Challenges will always begin on the first of the month they are in, and end on the last day of the month.  
• There is no "scoring", there is no prize.  Just inspiration.
• This is an opportunity to see what we can accomplish within a year, when we set our minds and our hearts to focusing on very specific things.  

I think you will be amazed what you can do!  I had so many wonderful e-mails from those who participated in 30 Days of Nothing – the “no spending” challenge of September.  It was amazing to see the changes that had taken place in your homes and in your hearts.  These challenges will be no different – aimed in many different areas but ultimately reaching to our need for a more purposeful life. 

Here’s what’s coming – prepare to be CHALLENGED!

November 2011 - Starts in 6 days!

This Challenge is designed to stir up our sense of gratitude for all the blessings in our lives.  Over this thirty days, we will be finding ways each day to Give or to offer Thanks.  It doesn’t have to be monetary, but it certainly can be. 

Here’s what our family is doing:

Even days of the month (2nd, 4th, 6th, etc.), an act of “Thanks” - a note-card to a family member, co-worker, friend, or neighbor to say that we are thankful for them. 

Odd days (1st, 3rd, 5th, etc.) an act of giving, just because.  We’re going with small gifts that will either be hand-carried or mailed.  From homemade items to small gift cards ($5)

You can do 100 different things.  You can make baked goods and deliver them with a note-card every other day.  You can create homemade crafts.  You can show up at someone’s house and rake their leaves.  You can clean for an elderly friend.  You can volunteer at a soup kitchen.  You know what your family is good at and can commit to!  You can come up with a variety of amazing ways to offer Thanks or Give to others.  Whatever you decide, the discipline is to make it happen all of the 30 days of November. 

This is a choice to say that for this year, for this month, for this holiday season - we’re reaching out to those we maybe haven’t been so great at keeping up with, or maybe those we just want to show extra love to, or to those who have needs that we can meet. 

Whatever your reasons, and whomever you lavish your Thanks and Giving on…we want to turn-around the habit of taking care of ourselves or always looking out for #1 into Giving and Thanks.  You will be blessed! (trust me…)

December 2011

December’s Challenge is an exercise in stepping outside of the comfort zone.  Maybe not for some, but definitely for myself.  For this month, our family will be finding FOUR WAYS to show GOODWILL that will impact:

1. our neighbors 
2. our community
3. our church
4. our world.  

Your areas of impact will be your own choice.  

First, I’ll start by telling you that I LOVE {love} LOVE Christmas.  Always have.  Probably always will.  But there is a big difference in the way Anton would prefer to celebrate and the way I would prefer to celebrate.  I would like all of the nostalgia; perfect tree, carols and eggnog with dear friends, stocking hung by the chimney with care, plate of cookies for Santa with a side of carrot for the reindeer, snow on Christmas morning, too many presents, lots of family, and spiral cut ham falling off the bone by 4pm. 

He would prefer quiet, contemplative reflection about what our Savior came to do.  (ouch) 

So we have spent many Christmases (twelve to be exact) bantering gently about our positions on Christmas.  And we’ve always compromised for a little bit of my style and a little bit of his.  Except…

Except it’s starting to get to me a little bit.  To start with, Christmas décor is up in stores by Halloween.  That’s just pitiful – even to this diehard Christmas fan.  It reeks of money, doesn’t it?  Second, I felt a little bit convicted last year when my kids were buried neck high in wrapping paper and bows and ribbons, and were far too cranky and overwhelmed to enjoy an ounce of what they had received.  Reeks of consumerism, doesn’t it?  Third, I think it’s been happening to me for a while now that I lose sight of this every year.  I go into December saying “I’m not doing that this year…we’re toning it down” and yet somehow Christmas Eve arrives with a bit of a chagrin from both of us – it has happened again.  We I went overboard.  Reeks of “self”, doesn’t it?  We rush through the season – head to parties – see relatives – over shop – over eat – over indulge…and then it’s over.  And sometimes we have missed the whole point.

So all I’m saying, is I’m taking four baby-steps back to the meaning of Christmas – which for our family is all about a wonderful gift that had no bow, no wrapping, but cost more than money could ever purchase.   The birth, life, love and forgiveness of a perfect lamb…Jesus. Someone who truly understood Goodwill towards Man.

Now, I realize, that may not be your personal conviction – but it certainly lends me to want more out of Christmas for my kids than a frenzy of desire, followed by inevitable meltdowns.  No, I want more for them.  I want more for us.  Does this mean we won’t decorate a tree or hang a stocking or sip eggnog?  No.  However, it does mean that this year we are going to find FOUR WAYS to spread GOODWILL and try to reconnect to our fellow man – our neighbors, our community, our church family, and yes – even to our world. 

Each act will take a different form, and I’m not yet sure what that will look like – it could be caroling to our neighbors and delivering cookies, serving food at the local shelter, volunteering our time to our church, or sponsoring an orphanage in Africa.  I don’t know.  But I have hope that with each act, we will have had even a little part in restoring the brotherhood of mankind…just enough to wet our hearts for more. 

January 2012

Ah yes…January and the time for resolutions.  The time for joining gyms and trying to lose all that weight we gained by eating too much of the Chocolate Bundt Cake that Aunt Edna makes every year. 

I get that.  I really do.

But let’s face it; you’ve just spent two months taking care of and giving to others – so we’re going to take a month and focus on ourselves and our health.  Something I am in SORE need of.  Years, people.  Years.

Anyway – AB and I decided that for the month of January we are going to commit ourselves to healthy eating.  And maybe even some exercise too.  Ugh.  Can’t lie.  Gonna be UGLY, my friends.  U.G.L.Y. 

Much like 30 Days of Nothing in September, wherein we documented all of our meals and spending habits – we’ll be documenting pictorially our *healthy* food choices, meals we come up with, and ideas for healthier living.  We are by no means the authority as our idea of a good meal always includes a small vat of mayo.  Sadly that statement is too true.  Sigh… 

But we will be trying, just as with all the other monthly challenges, to extend ourselves beyond the norm.  To step outside of our comfy spots and MAKE POSITIVE CHANGES. 

No guarantees that I can live on carrots alone.  (blech…not gonna happen)  But I will be giving it all I’ve got.  Cough.  Sputter.  (nervously chews nails)

Signed – The Girl in Sweatpants  (cuz that’s all that fits)

************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************************

SO NOW YOU HAVE the next three challenges lined up and ready to go.  You can pick and choose what you’d like to do and leave a comment with any questions!  If you’d like to blog about it – be sure to tell me so I can brag about you here while you’re on your journey and so that we can follow your progress and get inspiration!

There will be a Mr. Linky sign up option within the context of each individual post the first day of each challenge.  That's where you can list your Name and the Link to your Blog, so we can easily follow along.

I’m EXCITED!  It feels good to head into the next three months with PURPOSE outside of the predictable.  I can safely say, I have not had that feeling in a while. 

Who’s with me?!?!

Be still my soul

Be still, my soul; the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul; thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.

Be still, my soul; thy God doth undertake
To guide the future, as He has the past.
Thy hope, thy confidence let nothing shake;
All now mysterious shall be bright at last.
Be still, my soul; the waves and winds still know

His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

I’m tired and my eyes are so heavy, I can hardly keep them open.  I try, but instead yawn and burrow deeper into the covers.  The small hand on my arm and the even smaller voice whispering in the darkness of the early hours of a new day.  It’s morning, he implores.  It’s time to get up.  It’s time to eat breakfast. 

My son.  The dawn breaker.

He’s eager and talkative and a hundred words pour out of his mouth while he coaches me out of my slumber.  The rest of the house is quiet, calm…and I can hear the old Dutch grandfather clock ticking away…recording the time.  He crawls into our bed, his Daddy already gone – up even earlier than our boy. 

After much chatter we agree that milk and dry cereal are in order, while Mommy showers and prepares for the day.  As he snuggles in and finds his comfort, I feel my heart coming undone.  Not because today is different.  No, it’s the same.  Over and over, it’s the same.  A year ago, it was a different kind of the same.  Different stages marking us as we go. 

And so I go to the shower where I feel myself unraveling a little. 

Hot water pouring over me and pieces of my brokenness coming to the surface while the sleep is rinsed away.  I’m failing them.  These two beautiful children.  My sin stronger than my resolve and reflecting back at me, blinding me.  Tomorrow will be the same.  I’ll promise myself that we’ll play more, have an adventure, read together.  Instead I will find my tongue sharp and my words harsh.  I’ll find my voice raised.  I’ll feel my old companion – that rigid need for order – showing up…again and again and taking over.  There will be too much yelling.  Too much chaos.  Too much frustration, as we mull through yet another day.  Rushing, trying to complete everything, trying to be everything.

Wiping away the steam on the mirror, and finding that same girl staring back.  The same, but different than she was.  Wondering again, how she got here.  This isn’t the me I envisioned.  I’m not the mother I imagined I would be.  The lines around my eyes reminders that time is moving on and that tomorrow will be the same.  That grandfather clock ticking, ticking, ticking…and bringing into focus the truth…that even though it doesn’t seem like it now - I will want back these days with them.  I will regret.  And there will be nothing to do for it.

Unless. 

I just find a way to be still.

If the mess from yesterday remains while we play one more round of Go Fish.

If the dishes wait while we take a walk together.

If the laundry is plucked from the baskets - clean - but not folded or put away, while we chat about our day. 

If the TV, the computer, the busy life that never ends is turned off while we read “one more story, Mommy…one more, o-tay?”

If  I hold my tongue and let my children be children.

Can I bear patiently the cross of motherhood…burdened and tired and worn down.  Feeling the weight of the responsibility to be their guide.

Longing to leave it to my God to order their days and provide for them.  That in my brokenness He will faithfully remain and wipe away the tears of my regret.  Comforting all of us when our reality is not what we imagined it would be.

Be still my soul.

My heavenly and my best friend…guiding my future as He has my past.  Always leading me back to His unending Grace.  In His grip.  Never out of His love.  Always covered.

Even when I’m too harsh…too tired…too spent.  Even then.

I check on my boy and he is as I last saw him, snuggled in our bed, enjoying his snack, sipping his milk.  He smiles at me and it melts my tired heart.

Inside I feel that pang.  Today is full of agenda items.  There will be little time to do any of the things I’ve only just resolved myself to doing. 

And only moments later, I am raising my voice over a mess made.  The brokenness comes reeling through, smashing my resolve into shards that cut and gnaw at me.  I’m the same.  Today is the same as yesterday.  My shoulders slump in the weight of reality.

But then Grace.

Be still my soul.

The waves and winds still know…

The disappointment, the hurt, the anger, the frustration, the sin that threatens to swallow me whole…

They still know His voice Who ruled them while He dwelt below.

Grace.

So I crawl back to the cross and to forgiveness and resolve that I’ll keep doing that every day.  Every day I must go back to the Grace that covers me – their mother, but His child.  He knows me better.  Knows my reactions before I do.  Knows my temper and my stubbornness.  Knows how I fall down.  Sees me and knows my heart – the good intentions and the bad ones.  Sees me and loves me, just the same.  Chose me.  Chose me to be theirs.  Knowing all the while how my children would help me see Him better.  How being a mother would help me to see my own sin much clearer, a gentle reminder of what has been done for me. 

Grace.

Like salve on all my poor choices.  Remedy for my short-comings.  Peace for my expectations to rest in.  To be reminded.

Be still my soul.

Fun Stuff

You already know that I love blog design and I love changing the look here pretty much every couple months.  That's because it's my favorite little space on the web (being my own corner and all), and I like to keep it looking nice and tidy and in step with the seasons. 

We're only two weeks away from my November Design, and I am EXCITED!  Meanwhile, check out the two I just finished!  (click the image to see the full design)  I am LOVIN' this Fall look...

and these colors POP...love it!

Come see me if you're ready for your own fun fresh look!  Bushel & A Peck Designs

Woot woot!