29 Days of Love–Oma & Opa Style….

Well, as I said in my last post – the grandparents are here!  And one of the things I really appreciate and admire about AB’s parents is the way things just GET DONE when they’re here.  If they see a need, they will try to fill it.  If they can help, they will.  If they can repair or build or replace things for us – they don’t even hesitate.  They are do-ers and I can’t tell you how much that means to this particularly tired and overwhelmed mama.  It’s love in the sweetest form for me – the gift of service.  And it’s not an easy one to give because it requires effort and energy and stamina and a willingness to serve  – but it’s such a blessing, isn’t it?  For instance:

Little man will be 5 this year.  First of all – can you even believe that?  Five.  Hello?  How did that happen…  And he’s been in a “race-car” toddler bed, complete with his crib mattress for the past two + years.  But I’m embarrassed to tell you that his feet have been over the end of it for a while, and he has complained that it’s not comfortable for even longer.  Ahem.  And I’ve had the best of intentions at getting that bed replaced – but time has gotten away from me (and resources).   When Oma and Opa showed up yesterday and saw that need – the jumped into action to fix it.  And I mean, within two hours of their arrival….we were out the door shopping beds. 

Oma & Opa purchased a wonderful bed (actually, the perfect bed that matches his furniture) and suddenly he was spending his last night in that awesome race-car bed that more than did its job.   (There’s a car bed under all that blankie!)

But the next day, we didn’t mess around – we got right to the task of putting the awesome purchase together… (and we had lots of excited helpers!)

   

And in no time, we had a very, very happy boy!  (and a relieved and ecstatic Mom and Dad!)

Meanwhile, Baby Girl – who is sadly not a baby anymore and will be THREE in June – (gasp!  How did THAT happen too?!?!) has been potty trained for five months, but still in her crib.  This made nighttime pull-ups a must and accidents a commonplace while in bed at night.  She has never mastered climbing out of the crib, because her crib is set very low.  Oma & Opa said “why don’t we get her a toddler bed while we’re out!”  Remembering the day we put that crib together, made it bittersweet. How the time has flown…

Back when Daddy set it up for the first time….2006

And so, within minutes of wishing Quint a good last night in his own bed, 

we were wishing this sweetheart a peaceful sleep for her last night in her crib.  Sniffle…

The next morning, and with many hands making light work, we had a very, very happy girl! 

(and a relieved and ecstatic Mom and Dad!)

   

Not leaving us out, our laundry room is a tight squeeze.  Like, a really tight squeeze – as in “no room at the inn”.  We’ve been making do since we purchased “George and Gracie” a year ago (my amazing, wonderful, awesome washer/dryer combo).  Because of the additional cost, we didn’t purchase the matching “drawer” units that sit underneath the washer and dryer – so expensive.  Instead, Opa used his awesome woodworking skills and built a unit for us…but first we had to do some shifting…

And before I knew it…I was ogling my new setup.  George and Gracie were at eye level (no more stooping!) 

AND there was now a fabulous storage area for all of my laundry baskets!  Sweet!  

People – he put this together in a matter of a couple hours.  I was amazed and totally grateful!

Other projects got tackled as well – like a new light fixture installed for Quint’s room (seeing as how the one that we had was fried and only worked on side – eek!), a whole hallway full of new light fixtures to replace the generic ones that came with the house, and new comforters and bedding for the children (adorable!). 

Here’s my point, that is - besides showing my pure GRATEFULNESS and THANKS to my in-laws.  The point is – they were showing love to us and to the kids, and it was such a wonderful gesture of love that I am still smiling ear to ear about it.  My heart is full up!  It’s not just the purchases – though, goodness knows, it was an incredible blessing.  It’s the act of service for the time it took to pick out, purchase, lug it home, assemble everything, clean up the mess, and enjoy the fruits of it with us.  Every time I walk past Quint’s room, I’m giddy that my big boy now has a big-boy bed to go with his long legs.  I’m so happy that Keira can now use the potty at night and that she loves her bed as much as we do.  I’m thrilled that Quint has an awesome new light fixture in his room – let there be light!  I’m just thrilled to see so much accomplished in 24 hours.

Showing love to your family this month can come in many shapes, forms, and sizes.  For us, it came in the shape of our parents extending their time, love, and resources.  Helping us shift with the growing pains of our little family of four. 

We  definitely feel the love…

Valentines is in 3 days – do something spectacular for your family!

29 Days of Love ~ Catching Up

I know.  It’s been like a week.  Ok, it HAS been a week.   I’m sorry…after 31 days of Nothing {Unhealthy} – I got kind of worn out on all that posting.  Our life is nuts right now.  That’s how it feels.  Nuts.  Something going on every day, commitments pulling us in every direction and full schedules and trying to make sure to carve out ample time to be Mommy to these amazing kids I love so much.  On and on…the list just grows. 

But speaking of love and this month’s challenge – I’ve been trying to incorporate little things into each day to make them special: 

Love notes on their bedroom doors…

 

baking and decorating Valentines cupcakes together…(mmmm…delish!)

Family time each night that includes games, reading books together, making special Valentine crafts, and playing on the floor. Extra hugs. Extra kisses. Extras thrown in wherever I can get them.

We only have 19 days left in the Challenge and that’s not a whole lot.  If you need ideas for how you can show tangible love to your family this month, please go back and read THIS POST.  If you need a re-cap of what this month’s Challenge is all about – you can read THIS POST.

I know this is brief, but it’s the weekend – and Oma and Opa are down for a visit.  I would love to hear about the expressions of love you’re showing your family and I can always use a great idea! 

Have a great weekend, my friends!  Let’s see if I can pick up the posting action next week?

29 Days of Love–Tangible Expressions

As promised, here are some tangible expressions of love you can show for February’s 29 Days of Love

• Write a love note a week to your spouse and hide them in places that will be a nice surprise
• Make a long list of affirmations for each of your children and read them together
• Bake a special treat and enjoy them together
• Make an ordinary week-night into an extraordinary night. Make a fancy dinner with special china and tablecloth and love notes at each place setting. Light candles. Put on some music. Include your children! Give them sparkling cider in real glasses.
• Make a large heart out of construction paper and list in sharpie pen all that you love about that family member. Hang this on their bedroom door so they can see it each day of the month
• Mail Valentines to each of your siblings, parents, grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins…on and on. To be extra special – hand make them. If you feel overwhelmed by this – just remember that the challenges are meant to be a sacrifice and to teach us how to extend more or ourselves. Doesn’t have to be flawless – it just need to be from the heart…let your kids help you to make them!
• Make a special breakfast, complete with heart garland, special napkins, and lots of cozy food. Make Oatmeal with cinnamon, apples, and cranberries (or Red Hots!)
• Learn how to say I love you in different languages and practice those around the house. Have fun with it!
• Do the chores your child or spouse normally does for a week, or even a day.
• Make up a little sign-up sheet offering times for “Free Backrubs” to your family members (five minutes each or whatever works for you!)
• Host a Movie Night, light a fire, get all your warmest blankets washed, fluffed, and on the couch – make a batch of cookies (hello, ready bake!) and whip up some Hot Chocolate with extra marshmallows. It helps if the movie has a message of love!
• Start your spouses car five minutes early (scrape the ice off the windshield) and put a hot travel mug of coffee or tea in the cup holder. Leave a love note on the steering wheel.
• Arrange a fabulous date night with your honey
• Arrange a fabulous date night with your sons or daughters Make up a Date Menu and let them pick their favorite items for the date. Kind of like “Choose your own Adventure!”
• Buy flowers for your children or spouse. Have them delivered to school or work. OR have them waiting when they get home.
• Make it a point to say to each member of your family “I’m proud of you”.
• Surprise your children or spouse with a homemade lunch at work or school
• Fill up your spouses car with gas, get the oil changed, get the car washed
• Clean your children’s rooms, leave nice clean sheets and blankets, add special touches you know they will love
• Make a scrapbook or photobook with pictures of you and your family members showing love or affection to each other. We have hundreds of pictures of kisses on the cheeks, kissing or hugging our kids, and affection. It’s a nice reminder of how much love you share.
• Have a game night – pull out the board games, Wii, cards, whatever you love –and have a great time. Be sure to have snacks, popcorn, and your inner child. Just sayin’.
• Commit to say I love you EACH DAY to every member of your house and for a nice touch, follow it up with a hug or kiss.  Mean it.  Say it and mean it and show it.  Capish?
• Serve your family breakfast in bed – be sure to put personal touches in there
• Don’t complain.  You heard me.  Let things slide and don’t complain about the trash, the toilet seat, the toothpaste in the sink, the socks on the floor, the {insert annoying and complain worthy issue here}.  Don’t complain.  Swallow the complaint and replace it with a positive encouragement. 
• Heart-shaped pancakes or cookies or even bacon (yes, bacon…mmmm)
• Give your loved ones space.  Just turn off the nag button and give them space.  It’s not the end of the world and you will, in fact, survive without getting those “items” off your chest
• Use your manners.  I know this sounds strange, but so often I come across people who have none.  Say please, thank you, pardon me, excuse me, and anything else you can think of to extend common courtesy to those you love.  Makes me nuts when I notice people who treat strangers nicer than their own family members. 
• Be a good listener.  If you’re children love to talk, talk, talk – arrange a time that you can sit and hear all about their days, their projects, their friends, and their life.  For your spouse, arrange a quiet time when you can listen about their day, their concerns, etc. and make eye contact.  Don’t be distracted and don’t cut it short.  This is the month to really make an effort to go the extra mile for them.
• Host a Family Dance – and truly have fun with it.  Make a playlist and take 30 minutes or longer to really let loose and have fun.  You will be amazed how happy this simple silly act will make you. 
• Wear perfume/cologne.  Many people stop doing this after marriage.  Not sure why.  Smell nice, look nice, etc. for your honey.  Make an effort.
• Host a couples party with wine and fondue or cheeses and chocolates.  Get lots of ideas for Wine & Cheese Here – HERE – and for a fabulous Fondue Party HERE - HERE and HERE.
• Host a slumber party for your kids and make kindness and love the focus – get ideas here and here!

There are SO MANY WAYS TO SHOW YOUR LOVE!  I’d love to hear your ideas – leave them in the comments!

29 Days of Love ~ Intro Post

^{I Corinthians 13:4} Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

This challenge marks the 6-month point for those of you following the Year of Challenges.  I can’t believe we’ve actually hit the six-month mark – and I’ll be the first to admit to you that there have been a hundred few times I’ve wondered what in the world I was thinking taking this huge task on.  On the other hand, I can tell you that I’ve been stretched and forced to look at myself and my selfish tendencies in a way that I’ve never bothered to before.  If you’re just joining us, be sure to take a peek at the “Challenges” tab above to see where we’ve been with this project and what’s up and coming!

So Love.  Yes, February is the month for sweethearts – and I totally enjoy the colors, the sentiment, and the idea that we celebrate finding that special someone.  But let’s face it; this is a Hallmark Holiday if there ever was one.  And if you truly understand where this tradition emerged, you begin to wonder how we got it whittled down to a lovers only celebration. 

Visit HERE to read how the holiday originated and see just how far we’ve come!  Women, you just be happy you’re not getting slapped with blood drenched pieces of goat hide – that’s all I’m saying!

But one of things about the Month of Love that I think is often missing is the way we show love to our entire family.  Not just our significant other.  So this month, we’re going to focus on showing our love to our household.  And if you’re single – we’re going to show love to our extended family.    And I don’t need to tell you that “family” is a broad term indeed – many of us have people in our heart that are not related by blood, but whom we consider closer than any family we might have. You know who your family is… 

In November, we focused on showing thanks for our friends.  In December, we focused on our neighbors, our communities, and our world.  In January, we focused on ourselves and healthier living.  This month, we’re going to extend the true confessions of our heart to those we love the very most.

I remember when my father was very ill several years ago.  In a medically induced coma for over a month, we all sat around wishing we could talk to him again and tell him all the ways he touched our lives and how much we loved him.  Wished we could once again laugh about the good times and regale stories of our years together.  We wished we could tell him we appreciated him.  Honored him.  And forgave any shortcomings he may or may not have had. 

When he recovered, by God’s divine grace, we were so grateful – and overwhelmed by how much tragedy reminds us of what we seem so often to forget:  say what you want to say now.  Not tomorrow.  Not next week.  Show your love now.  Don’t save it, don’t hoard it, don’t sit on it.  Give it away…love your family and show them how much you love them.

There is a saying, and it’s somber but beautiful. Love and cherish those that God gave you, because some day He will need them back.

On that note, I’d like to introduce you to February’s 29 Days of Love:

This month we’re going to work out Corinthians 13:4-7 in our homes (and families) and try to come to an understanding of what Love is really supposed to be – not just romantic love, as Hallmark would like you to think – but as we’ve been created for and with those precious people God has placed in our lives to be our family.  Let’s review…

Love is patient

Love is Kind

It does not envy

It does not boast

It is not proud

It does not dishonor others

It is not self-seeking

It is not easily angered

It keeps no records of wrongs

Love does not rejoice in evil but rejoices with the truth

It always protects

Always trusts

Always hopes

Always perseveres

Translation:

Extend your patience in situations with your spouse, children, or even extended family.  Times when you otherwise might be prone to frustration, allow yourself to take a breath and extend patience. 

Offer kindness, when you’re instinct might be otherwise.  Help your kids with a big school project, even if they didn’t ask.  Set aside 30 minutes and love on your spouse.  Take 20 minutes and reach out to your parents or siblings – especially if you live far away from each other.  There are so many kindnesses to name – I’ll save those for below.

Envy is tough – because I think we all do this.  But instead, focus on the ways you are proud of your family.  Tell them!

Don’t boast about your own accomplishments this month – instead, focus on the ways your family has impressed you.  Be humble.

Love is not proud.  Be the first to apologize.  I don’t care if it’s a decade old argument, or a difference of opinion about which coffee is better.  Don’t be full of pride – and find the first way to say you were wrong, or you’re sorry, or that you probably didn’t handle a certain situation very well.

Don’t throw your loved ones under a bus.  Don’t talk about them behind their backs.  Don’t present them poorly to others.  Don’t dishonor them.  Love them by building them up, speaking highly of them, focusing on their good traits, and praising their accomplishments.

Love isn’t self-seeking.  Don’t do things to get something in return.  This month is not about what you get back or what happens when you do X.  It’s about showing love without any expectations. 

If you’re anything like me – you have a temper.  (I pray you’re nothing like me in this way)  I get heated up pretty quickly and I tend to express myself through volume.  Enough said.  The point is, love is not easily angered.  Spend this month working on your temper.  Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.  Remember October’s Challenge? 

Are you a grudge holder?  If you are, I urge you to take this month to let that baggage go.  Find ways to express that release.  Whether you write a letter of forgiveness and burn it.  Deliver it.  Write your grievance on a large rock and throw it to the bottom of the lake (i.e. letting it GO) or take that loved one to coffee and apologize for holding on to that and not forgiving them.  Let it go.  Anger and a lack of forgiveness are the seeds of despair and they keep us held in one spot – unable to grow and move forward with those we love.  Let it go.  Forgive.  Don’t keep a record of wrongs…

Do not rejoice in evil, but rejoice with the truth.  I had to look this one up.  There are many translations of the word evil in this text and some of them are iniquity, wrong-doing, unrighteousness, and injustice.  Bottom line – don’t take part in wrong-doing, but extend love in truth.  No, I don’t mean husbands should tell their wives they DO look fat in those skinny jeans.  God forbid.  Wives, please stop asking your husbands that land-mine question!  Rather, don’t love your family with false actions or words.  Let your yes be yes and your no be no.  Love them with truth and justice.  Be intentional in your love and don’t compromise. 

Love protects – and that ties in to truth, and not dishonoring those you love.  Protect them.  Care for them.  Comfort them.  If your instinct is a negative remark, hold it back and think of how you can protect your spouse or loved one in that situation, while still offering truth in love. 

Trust.  This is a tough one for me.  We’ve all had hurts in our lives and we’ve all been hurt by others at some point.  But we must really resist the urge to hurt those we love with our mistrust of their intentions.  Transparently speaking, Anton has told me many times over that I look at a situation and apply the worst possible motives to his actions.  Example: he coming home late from work and I’m upset and accusing him on the phone of always leaving late, and keeping us waiting, and that we’re not important.  {drama!} Three minutes later he walks in the door with flowers in his hand.  He was late because he was taking care of me.  Not mistreating me.  But I assigned the worst possible motive to his delay.  This is what I mean.  And we all have different levels of trust that have been broken – but this is really important as marriage success can often hinge on trust being central.  Same goes for your relationships with your kids and family.  Don’t assume the worst.  Offer your support and trust, and only put energy into situations where there have been clear violations.  Don’t hang your hat on “what if”.

Hope.  I like to look at hope as having a positive outlook.  A hope for good and for the future.  Tie into that encouragement, and you’ve got a lot of love you can show.  Love has hope.  Don’t give up if the relationship with your loved ones isn’t stellar.  Have hope and be willing to do the hard stuff above to make that happen.  Protect yourself from abusive people, and stay emotionally healthy – but have hope!  Pray for peace where needed, and extend grace where you can.  Always try to see the good in those you love.

Love perseveres.  It just does.  This is not rocket science.  This is love at its core.  It doesn’t give up.  It’s always there.  Nothing can separate you from it.  Can you imagine loving your children less?  I can’t imagine loving my children more!  Love perseveres under all kinds of stress and heartache, loss and doubt, good times and bad, hardship and brokenness…it never fails!  Love concurs all.  Nothing my children could ever do would make me love them less.  My love for them will stand true for the rest of my life on this earth.  That’s the nature of love.  God designed it to be so…and He showed us exactly what that looks like in His Word.

In addition to showing the Corinthians love, we can demonstrate tangible versions of our love in lots of fun and endearing and even helpful ways.  My next post will highlight lots of brainstorming ideas and fun ways to express yourself this month to those you love.  Be thinking of the Corinthians passage and ponder on the ways you can work on one, two, or all of the items above.  I know these aren’t easy – but where’s the challenge in easy? 

Let’s have some fun showing love for the next 29 Days!  Who’s with me?