January 8, 2013

Blue

It’s been a year.  Not a year since anything in particular…not like counting down.  No, not that kind of year.  I mean, it’s been a year.  You know how you come home and say “wow, it’s been a day!”.  Yeah.  That kind of year.

I call it blue.  2012 was blue.  I was blue.  Life was blue.  My heart was blue.  My mind was blue. 

Do you ever have a year like that?  Maybe just a day or two?  Well, let me tell you how having a whole year of blue can put you in the strangest of places.

If you have been through that, then maybe you’re shaking your head right now.  Agreeing.  Yes, you know…you have been there.  You get what I mean.

You can’t put your finger on how it happened.  You can’t organize in your mind exactly how you got there.  You can’t even quite shake it off as easily as you hoped.  But it made everything in your life harder.  And it made what might have been a minor distraction any other year, a major upset.

Blue w. frame

Blue.

Lots of things happened this past year to shape me differently than I thought I would be.  Highs and lows.  We took the kids to Disneyland = high.  We got in a car accident and Anton almost died = low.  Sometimes life does that.  Throws curve balls in our general direction.  Problem is, if you’re not prepped for ducking, you get hit.  And when you get hit?  You tend to at first buckle…from the knees up.  Then you go down.  Generally rather quickly.

I did. 

Life happened and I buckled.  And that, my friends, is why I’ve been gone so much from this place that I love.  My little corner of the web.

Sure, my kids are in one piece and AB and I still have date night on Thursdays.  Some things faithfully remain and for that, I’m thankful and undeserving.

Yes, look around…the sun still rises and sets each day and life goes on.

But I buckled.  And I fell down.  Hard.  Not like the kind where you just brush yourself off.  Not like that at all. 

The ugly kind where you’re a bit bloodied and worse for the wear.  That kind.  Dirty and messy.

Here’s what you do when that happens; you either get up and find a will to move forward or you just don’t. 

I got up.

I’m moving forward. 

I’m hoping for a new shade in 2013.  Anything but blue…

“If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.” – Psalm 34:18

11 comments :

My Little Monkey said...

Here is wishing you a year of peace and happiness!!!! Maybe pink this year.... =)

Ashley said...

Praying for an amazing year for you! I'm reading the book "1,000 Gifts" right now and I highly recommend it if you haven't seen it.
By the way, love your new blog design!!

belehcar said...

I hope it gets better :) I'll be praying for you!

Briana's Mom said...

I hear you loud and clear. That was my 2002. I lost my grandpa suddenly, Doug lost his grandpa from cancer, I had a miscarriage - and lots more happened that year too. I was so happy when that year ended. I hope I never repeat a year like that.

Hoping you have a much better 2013.

Angie Lawlar said...

I hope you have a better year too. I'm thinking yellow is a good color? Yellow is much better than blue ;) Unless of course you are headed to Hawaii in which case blue is a perfectly perfect color. Cheers to a New Year and new color wheel!

Paula said...

Yup - you're in need of a new colour this year for sure. So sorry to hear 2012 was such a lousy year. Best wishes for 2013...may it be a year that brings you much joy, peace, harmony and bright colours!

Jodee said...

I am so sorry to hear about your blue year. Life can be sooo hard! Hoping and praying 2013 is a much better year for you!

Debbie said...

2010 was the year our youngest son died and was certainly the bluest year I've ever had and ever care to have again.

I hope 2013 is a year full of beautiful color for you and your family!!

Christie said...

How wonderful you are all to send me your well-wishes and prayers!

Thank you thank you thank you! <3

Debbie, I'm so very sorry to read that...I can't even begin to fathom, dear friend.

Big hug,
c

likeschocolate said...

I just found your blog! Love the design. Sorry 2012 was such a blue year for you! I hope 2013 will be amazing!

Paula said...

Keep checking in.....hoping you're okay and that this year has been off to a better start. Happy belated Valentine's Day! Hugs.