|Image Courtesy Gina Marie Huff|
I’m sorry to say that the state of my “purging” is a bit blah. The thing is, and I’m being completely redundant, I can’t see to open them. The tubs. The ones with the baby clothes. Actually, that’s not entirely true. I did pop one lid open, spied a small brown cap and matching shoes that Quint wore right around 12 months, and I blubbered up like a fool.
and….I sound like a lunatic.
Meanwhile, there’s this whole other issue that keeps cropping up. And I don’t know why it’s so hard. But frankly, we’re not sure we’re done expanding our family. Every time I think about getting rid of all these things – stroller, highchair, clothes, etc. – I just get hung up. What if we’re not done? What if we start this whole thing over again in a year? How mad will I be at myself when I’ve gone and dumped it all, only to need to purchase it all again. That will HACK me off. And I know you’re probably still thinking “expanding our family”?!?!?! But stay with me. The thing is…we often discuss whether or not we want more children. And honestly, we do. I mean, I think we do. We both having the desire off and on again. Does that ever get better? Do you eventually have to pull the plug and say “we’re done!” and then it hurts but you get over it? Does that happen all my “been there done that’s”?
There are just so many obstacles ( I know, I know…God is bigger than those obstacles) but I get discouraged that China has basically gone to special needs only (which is fine, only we have crap insurance) and Ethiopia jumped onto the slower than slow track. Our agency stopped accepting families into the program – that’s pretty darn slow. Now, am I closed to the idea of another country or stateside? No. Not at all. But we haven’t pursued that and….why am I telling you all this? Maybe it’s cathartic. Maybe it’s a good excuse not to be unpacking tubs. Maybe I’m just trying to justify hauling 9 tubs of the cutest clothes ever back into the attic? Whatever it is…I feel stuck. Ugh… It would be a huge waste to have them sitting in the attic for years where no one can be cute in them…what’s the point of that. What a selfish waste!
On another note, AB is kicking off his production of Footloose this week and it’s a CRAZY life, people. Crazy! Production mode can bring out the best and the worst in us…mostly because of all the stress and pressure. But good news! This coming weekend I’m attending a Ladies Retreat wherein, I will be the roommate of me, myself, and I at a luxury hotel. Yes, that’s right…I’m rewarding myself with a private room. This is because somehow the sound of silence makes me deliriously happy and I need a fix. That and the whole “going to the bathroom uninterrupted". That’s nice too. Like, really nice. Not to mention that I get to hang out with some of my favorite people – the ladies from my church. They are a FUN group of gals and I’m so glad to know them.
On yet another note? Always late to the party in all ways – hairstyles, movies, weather reports, celeb news, etc. No exception is my new found guilty musical pleasure, Justin Bieber:
Don’t judge. (but I would have judged you a week ago - gulp)
For four years I have wondered what was the big D-E-A-L-I-O with him? (now I get it!)
Watch his movie on Netflix and you’ll have a change of heart. (watched it sort of by accident, but so glad I did)
The kid is freaking amazing…who knew? (he plays like 500 instruments…or whatever)
Quint and I have Bieber Fever…can’t be helped! (cannot be helped, I tell you!)
Ok, back to the tubs...at least I'll have Justin on the i-POD to keep me motivated!