June 28, 2009

In five, four, three, two....(silent finger up for one)

and we're back!

Well, it was a much needed and very appreciated time away. Both from the blog and from town.

The things that I needed to take care of and the time that I needed away...the Christie time that I was seeking out - all those things were addressed. And actually, I should say that - I had no intention of leaving town - but thanks to my ever charming husband who knows me all too well - we were invited to spend a cost free three days at a cabin in the Ozarks. Our expectations weren't high - we were just thrilled to get away. Anton's parents agreed to keep our little mister - and we were looking forward to the time to have uninterrupted thoughts and conversation. Maybe even to read a book - or nap for hours on end! Ahhhh, bliss!

In fact, we were so pleasantly shocked at the beauty and tranquility of this delightful cabin. In the middle of virtually no-where...with the most amazing views of the mountains from every side of the front and back porch. Everything about it was quaint...warm...and just plain old welcoming. The hosts were friends of the family - and they own the little cabin - living not too far away from it. They completely stocked the fridge and pantry, made sure the air was on to compensate for the heat, and everything we could possibly need was accounted for. It was unbelievable! The minute we walked in the door, we decided we wanted to stay for weeks! (If only that were possible!!)

But we didn't waste one minute of our time alone - and it was such a sweet and memorable time together. We quite literally didn't leave for three days - and finally ventured into town to try out a recommended hole in the wall cafe for breakfast (which, did not disappoint). Anton cooked the most amazing meals in that little kitchen.

We spent mornings on the front porch, cup of coffee in hand, and journals at the ready. Talking, breathing in the mountain air and listening to the few sounds we could hear - birds and forest life. It was enchanting.

We would move indoors to read, or spend time talking - napping, writing, playing games...just as we had planned to do. We literally ate, slept, ate, slept, and ate some more. It was an amazing time of rest and nourishment for our minds and our bodies. And more so for our marriage...

Who knew how much weight could be placed on being able to have a complete and coherent conversation with the one you love? We didn't. Until we were able to...and realized how easy it was - in just one short year - (maybe more...) to slip into a parenting routine that virtually strips you of your alone time. You don't even see it coming. Don't even notice it going...

Then you realize you're on different roads...and you're hollering back and forth - trying to communicate between the distance. Trying to move forward, while the distance between you makes it harder and harder to drive.

We didn't even realize it had gotten that bad. But I suspect it's this way in most marriages. The important thing is, to spot it and address it immediately. My experience tells me - it will not go away on its own. You must deal with it. Talk about it. Get away (even for a weekend) and reconnect - get on the same road again...or better yet, the same vehicle!

I think for me, the unknowns, as I previously blogged about, were really starting to take their toll. I know I'm not alone. I have many women friends who I talk with regularly. Many of us share the same anxiety - the same fears - the same sadness. What am I doing, where am I going, what's the point, who is this for, is there more?!?!

Fortunately, I was able to answer a lot of those questions in the middle of the Ozarks. I had time to process with the person I trust most in this world. I cried, I laughed, I journaled, and cried some more. I talked at great length, and he listened. He talked (albeit at not as great a length as me) and I listened. We got to the bottom of some patternistic behaviors we both have, and how we can work on them. We shared our hopes for our little family - and were relieved to see that we wanted the same things - thank God - we still wanted the same things for us and for our future.

We made some good progress on why I was feeling so blue - and now I have some work I need to do to address those things. "Some work" is kind of an understatement - but for the sake of both giving you some transparency while maintaining some privacy - I'll leave it at that.

So needless to say - it's good to be home, and it's good to be back. Everyone needs a little break now and then - and I think I was overdue on giving myself the permission for one.

Quint did spectacular with his grandparents, and they fell hook line and sinker for that dimpled smile of his! My only beef? He didn't cry. Not even once. Stinker! On the way home he boo-hoo'd and whined...so we called them up and let them listen. "Not even once?" I joked. "You never heard this?" I prodded, while holding the phone close to his wailing. Nope. Not even once. Well, wonders never cease. Guess he saves it all up for momma. Sigh.

Outside of returning to life as we know it - there have been many things going on:

One of our dogs got injured and had to have stitches on her face. Boo! Same dog also got sick all over the house and our bed while we were gone. Poor Pet-Sitter. Boo!

AB took up a summer job working in a fine-dining restaurant as a chef. Whooyaa! You go baby! He wants the experience to put in his mental filing cabinet for the "own your own restaurant someday" dream. So proud of you!

Quint is 19 months and growing like a weed. He's still not speaking - BUT! today I said "hey Quint, say dog" and he looked at me and said "dog". Then he flashed the impish grin. Little turd. We're still working with ECI in the meantime to get him up to speed. Yaay for words! He's also babbling up a storm. Won't be long now and I won't be able to turn it off.

We're enjoying the summer - but wheewee is it hot in Texas. We're in the 100's and upper 90's. Yikes! Even the pool water is a little too warm - even though that doesn't seem to keep us from it! Quint is working on becoming a water bug. So far, so good.

Yard work is for the birds. Boo. Two thumbs down.

Still ticked off at Jon and Kate. Double Boo.

Have a raging head cold that has left me feeling completely miserable since Thursday night. UGH!

Ok, and just a little (ahem) side note. China has matched families through 3-20-06 as of last week. Reminder: we're 3-29-06. Now, I do not expect to see July referrals that will include 9 days. However, I do expect we'll see our little KJB in the next two to three months. I do expect they will take as long as possible to match the next 9 days - but still. Only nine days. I can remember all too well when it was 4 months ahead of us...or 2 months. Just nine days. Piece of cake. Right? Gulp.


4D said...

Sounds wonderful! Marriage is amazing but is work. Hard work that is worth it. Thanks for sharing this. It is something to remember for when we are taking 2 paths.

Hope you find the answers you need.

Always here for you.

8 for me. 9 for you. We are so close! I am thinking August at the earliest...October at the max. They will drag it out I am sure but we will get there.

Keep smilin!

frogglet said...

Glad you had such a good break, I agree we all need that even if we don't think we can take it. I am having a sever case of living my life on hold and if nothing happens in the next couple weeks I a grabbing Jim by the shirt and we are going to the beach!
Hope China finally gives us that big batch we have been waiting for. I need a speed up of some kind.
Have a good week.
Take Care, Cora

Christy said...

What an amazing time!!! It looks like it was exactly what was needed!

Im so there with you on the china thing. I have so many people I lknow that have LID in the next 9 or 10 days-- it is totally driving me crazy!!! Im keeping my fingers crossed.

Stacey said...

I am so happy for you getting a much needed and deserving mini vacation. The pictures are just beautiful and I am sure IRL was much more amazing! I am a little jealous Quint would actually stay with his grandparents... Miah still won't let me leave yet. Oh well hopefully soon. Nine days,your so very close now!!! I am praying for you guys and really looking forward to seeing your little darling too!

Anonymous said...

Missed reading your updates. My hubby and I say "let's start over" when we are in the middle of a crabby, nonsense type of beginning of a fight conversation. We have learned to notify one another of our moods, so the other can readjust and not start a war.
You are right, Marriage is HARD. He is my best friend, and sometimes he is a jerk.. (I know I am too.) But I wouldn't want to be in it with anyone else.


Kim said...

Looks and sounds like an AMAZING time..
Every couple needs some time away..
John and I should do that sometime..
Have a great week.
And KJ is almost here..
I don't personally think China will do a huge batch next time... there are TONS of people..
but you are soooo CLOSE..
I would take 9 days till Isabella...
don't laugh to hard.. it will one day happen..

Anonymous said...

Sounds like you had a great time and you sound revitalized. Glad you enjoyed the time away. Cute cabin!

Anonymous said...

oops..above comment from ~Holly

The Gang's Momma! said...

So glad you had a great time away. We're still working on getting a single date night scheduled, but trying to be patient and stick to the plan we set for our family. Keeping up with the needs of the family as a unit is just a season but I'm with ya on the loooong-ness of it! We find that sneaking out for a cup of coffee occasionally or a date night whereby everyone retires to their room early has helped. Not completely but some!

And 9 days?! You can do it! Hang in there girl, you CAN do it. Can't wait to see the next batch come through :)

Kayce said...

So glad you both had that time together. It is so important and needed regularly in marriages. Looks like you guys enjoyed the heck out of that cute cabin!

9 days until us 3/29ers!!!!! We will be seeing our girls soon, so soon!

Sue said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts and life..as always I enjoy reading your posts.

Sue : )