There's your husband...

Back in my single gal days, I had lots of girlfriends that I hung out with on a regular basis. I'm talking practically daily. We'd get together, have coffee or a meal, shop, chat, catch up on the last 24 hours of each others lives, cry, laugh, and more. But one of the games we giggled uncontrollably at without fail was "there's your husband". In the middle of some profound conversation about lip gloss and purses, one of us would silently scan the room and come up with the...shall we say, best ne'er do well chap we could find and then casually interrupt and say to the friend "there's your husband". We'd all look and burst into a fit of giggles. Sometimes, on a good day - you'd find some gorgeous man in the room and take pity on your friend. So you'd throw her a bone and say "there's your husband" to which she would reply "Gawd, I WISH!". Ah, the single life.

When I was 25 years old, I attended a school function with my Mom for my little sister - who was then, only in the 5th grade. As the audience filed in, my mom and I had already found our seats and were doing some of our best "girlfriend" chatter while we watched people take their seats ahead of us. (we're back row Sally's) I didn't know my mom knew this game, but suddenly she said "whoo...hottie 2:00" and something that resembled a comment of "there's your husband". My eyes scanned the room and when my eye-clock hit 2:00, I saw what she saw. And something flip flopped inside of me. I think I made a slight sigh and said something like "gawd...I wish..."

Turns out he was the new teacher on campus. For three months I pined silently over him. Not really, but just seeing him around the school when I would pick my sister up, etc. set my little heart aflutter. One day, I saw him coaching Volleyball and I thought..."why not me? It has to be someone?" I knew he was single - but didn't know if he had a girlfriend. One could dare to dream...

One month after that, I got up the nerve to call him and invite him out. Over coffee - I stared across a tiny Starbucks table at my 2:00. He was charming, dead freaking attractive, and marvelously funny. We laughed and connected and had some weird chemistry (yeah, chemistry...).

One year, four months, and 20 days later - I stood in white and he stood in a gorgeous tux and we promised to love each other forever. To take care of each other, laugh together, and cry together. And we didn't know it then, but to share in parenting our sweet little Quint and Keira.

I sometimes look back on all the weird ways that we ended up together. The nerve it took to call him - he didn't know I was alive (by the by). The trip we took to LA where he says he officially fell in love with me while I held court with his some 50 relatives. The confrontation we had two months into our dating relationship where it was sink or swim. Lots of little pieces that could have gone differently. Lots of little ways the road could have shifted another direction and led us to other people.

I wish I could go back to that night my sweet mom pointed him out and said "there's your husband!"...

I could say "I know...isn't he spectacular?"

Just a little sumpin...

Hi y'all! (tee hee - I'm Paula Dean now!) Just checking in to say that this holiday season is whipping by! We finally got the tree up and the decor set up around the house. I'm so relieved! It's so much better to spend these cold days indoors when we have the fireplace going, the tree lights twinkling and the mulberry spice candle burning. We have XM radio on the Dish, so we just keep it set to "Holidays" and get to listen to all our Christmas favorites throughout the day. We are so cozy in here - I'm hesitant to leave! Meanwhile, that would heartily explain why my Christmas shopping is in poor shape. Not to mention the fact that my tree's underside is still bare. Oops!

I've started a little bit of crafting - painting ceramic ornaments is a small hobby of mine and I took sentimental joy in coming across and then putting them on the tree this year (i.e. the one I made for our kitty Meggie that we lost two years ago...), which made me think that I might still have some unpainted pieces around somewhere. Lo and behold, I found them right away and got the bug to start painting them again.

Meanwhile, all these yummy smells and twinkling lights have also put me in the mood to get back to some scrapbooking - especially starting a book for my little sweetie - Q-man. So, I'm starting up that engine too.

Meanwhile, I've got some gifts to wrap and goodies to bake. I've been in the kitchen quite a bit lately - which is very uncharacteristic of me. But I've made some killer spinach dip, a really melt in your mouth breakfast casserole and tonight I made a chicken noodle and cheese casserole that knocked our socks off! Warm, cheesy and gooey - that's my description. Getting AB's approval on my cooking is high praise in my book - being that he's amazing in the kitchen. I literally threw it together and it was a piece of cake!

Well, enough about me! What are you doing with the holidays? Any crafting going on out there? Special projects you do around the holidays? Do tell!

Here's some Quint-a-licious goodness for the road:

OMG! So darn cute - can you stand it?!?

My boy is drinking from a straw! What happened to my baby??

So cute - Daddy, boy, and puppy all taking a Saturday afternoon nap. I just love this...Quint loves his Daddy so much. NO where else he'd rather be...

Hug!

Christmas Magic

I was driving through town a few days ago, and I had the Christmas music station cranked up. I took special note of the wreaths on street lamps, the Christmas lights on buildings, the decor from place to place; and it filled me with nostalgia.

How is it possible that seeing a Christmas wreath brings into instant recall all those mornings of unyielding bliss - eager anticipation of what lay beyond the wrapping paper, my mom's chocolate covered cherry balls, more food than you could shake a turkey leg at, friends, chaos, Bing Crosby and Nat King Cole on the record player (yes, record player) and Dad stuck in the corner futzing with the ginormous video camera on the tripod and shuffling the still camera around his neck. Fire in the fireplace - always. Mom fussing with our huge breakfast. My brothers and I salivating over every gift tag which bore our name in red letters. The stockings so full, they had to be taken off their hooks and laid down on the ground. A plate with crumbs signaling that our precious Santa had made his visit. Hugs and kisses from Grandma, Grandpa, then Aunt D....as each one arrived to our house carrying even more gifts to stuff under our already busting at the seams tree base. Too much food, the smell of morning coffee, and finally...Grandpa dons the red Santa hat and finds his way to sit down by the tree and start calling out names; presents and wrapping paper begin flying around the room in rapid succession.

Later we're spent and completely captivated by our treasures. "Open this up for me, Dad!" "Grandma, can you help me put this together?" "Mom, I don't want to try it on now - later!!" Then falling unaware into a dreamy nap-time to the smell of turkey or ham. Mom changed it from year to year.

*****

That was such a nice memory for me just now...no kidding. I almost don't want to finish the post.

But what happened to that?

I guess I grew up. And I figured out that it took hard work and hard earned money to pull off that stint every year. My Dad worked three jobs to make those two paragraphs above a reality for us every year. My Grandpa worked the same and didn't retire until his 70's.

Suddenly, I'm finally realizing as an adult that it took a lot of energy, a lot of talent, time and love for my parents to host such extravagant Christmas magic for the four of us kids. The Christmas Eve's that my mom hustled us into bed and spent hours wrapping presents, and my Dad assembling a miscellaneous cornucopia of toys, bikes, and Barbie Dream Houses. The untold hours that my Mom and Grandma spent in the kitchen slaving over holiday treats and Christmas Feasts. My back hurts just thinking about it. The countless emotional and physical (not to mention financial) expense that went into those moments - to make them everything that they were - so that today I could recount it with such warmth in my heart for the memory.

I'm not saying Christmas is about money. I'm truly not. But I am saying that it's hard to take a holiday that has such huge standards in my heart - holds some of my fondest memories of my childhood and family time - and wrap it up into a whole new package for my own children. I'm afraid I can't even come close.

I know what you're probably thinking: make it your own. I know - but I can't. I'm so fond of those memories. I just want them back. I want to take Quint and plop him down right in the middle of them, so that he can see, smell, taste, hear...everything that I did as a child. To feel that magic.

How do I make it magical for him in this today?

Ask my mom (if you could) - it was magical. Even to her, all these years later...all that hard work she and my Dad did...they will still tell you it was a magical time for our family.

I think the lesson for me, is that by putting so much into whatever it is that makes this holiday special for you - you're keeping that magic going. Even if it changes shape, or takes on new meaning. If it's reading Christ's birth story to your kids. Attending a Christmas Eve Candlelight service. Baking like mad and delivering them to all your family and friends. Making crafts, caroling, shopping, serving food at a shelter, having friends over, seeing The Nutcracker - or all of the above. You're hard work pays off, because you're passing the magic on to your kids and giving them what you had - in a sense. They won't see all the work that goes into it until they're adults, like me - and driving down the street and hear a Christmas song their mom used to hum while making their favorite dessert or smell Christmas tree pine and recall their Dad getting the tree to just the right angle in the living room. I guess the important thing is that it will be magic in their eyes, and that magic will linger on into their future.

Just like it has for me.

Just like it will for Quint...starting now...

Uh sorry...where was I?

Oh yes! Sick...that's right. And guess what I'm going to be for you today? You got it....

A broken record. (ah ha ha...laughter from the cheap seats) We're all still sick. No, seriously. I've got several issues nagging my body, that I won't bore you with. Quint is still hacking, coughing, and well...rather drippy from the nose. He's also managed to sprout 4 teeth bringing our total count to eight. This combo is not one I recommend and it has made for quite a cranky little man. Add to that Mom and Dad being sick too - and bam! Happy Holidays, Grinch! Hmph.

Sorry it can't be a little more rosey - I have so many pictures of the last couple of weeks and I know I've been radio silent, so to speak. I actually have a lot to say, so I'll paraphrase (i.e. go into a long diatribe for each thought in my little head) what I've had on my mind lately.


First, my son needs to stop growing up. Wait... No...I want him to grow up. No...I don't. See, even when I'm typing theoretical blather, I still can't make up my mind. The bottom line is that he changes weekly. Daily. He is changing so rapidly this past six months since he's been home that it's making our parental heads spin. It's a blow to the heart in some ways, because you can see how this rapid growing up can really get away from you and the next thing you know you have a married son with his own kids. I'm just saying...one day teething, the next day paying a mortgage and coaching his wife through Lamaze. This is how fast it is going. I know why people say "I miss having a baby" now. Because they're lunatics who have forgotten all the work that goes into infants, but nevertheless, they're right. Tick tock, my friends...tick tock.


Another thought on my mind is that the older I get (can you see where I'm going with this?) the more I realize (ya with me?) that all those "older and wiser" people who give you life advice (now you're on to me...) are pretty much right. No, they are right. And the older I get, I realize that I could have saved tons and tons of time and personal pain had I listened to even a fraction of what they had said. Now that I'm a mother, even the smallest pieces of advice seem to come flooding back to me and ring true. The circle of life advice is that we never listen, and then we try to pass it along to those who never listen and so on. We all have to make our own way and find out for ourselves, I guess. Sucks.


Still reading all your blogs, but still officially the world's worst commenter. Nuff said. Gulp. I have no excuses. Truly.

Remember all those many moons (cough...a couple months) ago when I said that I was freaking out because I had to let go of so much stuff when Quint came home? All blah blah whining about how my life was upside down and I couldn't see straight or find time to comb my hair, shower, eat, etc? Right, that's all still true. Point is, someone said "it'll get easier" and they were right. (See a couple paragraphs up about advice from those who have walked it) It has gotten easier, and I could devote a whole post to the "easier" portion, and maybe I will at some point - but for now let's just say that each month brings new challenges and new sighs of relief. He learns how to push new buttons but he tires of old buttons. (thank you thank you thank you God!) He has become more independent in certain things, while more needy in others. He's starting to walk more and more, he eats more and more of what we eat, and he's gained enough understanding of certain things that he knows basic right from wrong. Does he ever. If I have to say "no touch" one more time...gah! Suffice to say, it's getting easier to breath, and even though the house still looks a little tornado-ish, we survive. Somethin's gotta give, my friends. The house is it.

Some of you will recall that I went to part-time work (from home) back in October and that's been a big help to my relationship with Quint. Things were tough there for a bit, but we're more engaged now with each other during the waking hours. He's got his Mommy and he's pretty happy about that. Undivided attention, turns out, is HIGH on the priority list of a one year old. Go figure! (snort)


We spent Thanksgiving out of town visiting relatives - it went relatively well, and I think Quint really loved getting to spend time with his cousins. He was soooo worn out when we got home and I think we all breathed a sigh of "it's good to be home" relief when we got back - for the simple fact that traveling with a baby is not the easiest thing to do. And it's not fun when said baby is sick the entire time. Bummer! (and you're driving...for long periods...in a small car...did I mention he was sick?...and teething?...)

Finally, and I think most importantly, it has not escaped my mind that soon, very soon, we will find our China LID at the top of the list for referral. We received a notice from our agency asking that we renew our 171-H yet again - third times a charm? Yes, this will be our third time to go through this paperwork, and somehow - it doesn't seem to matter that you know what to expect - it's still really difficult. Meanwhile, I keep thinking these heavy thoughts like "how will this change the dynamics of our little family of three" (shhh, don't be a hater...I'm just being honest) "what will having a girl be like", (weird considering that's all I thought we would have when we started this) "how will I cope with having two little ones at home all day" (big shout out to my girl "V" who's keeping it real over there at Tadpoles and Tutus with virtual twins!) and "how are we going to come up with all this money in time for referral". Now please...I beg you - understand that the cost we paid for the adoption process in Ethiopia was provided on queue by God's divine grace, and my husband is the biggest advocate for the "don't panic, God will provide" route. I'm the nervous nellie who frets and wonders how, how, how... So, if you pray, could you pray that God will provide this next portion of adoption fees and travel costs needed to go get our girl? We are standing on faith that the money will be there just as it always has been...right on time.


I think that catches you up - I'm sitting here when I should be in bed (lame!) and I'm feeling so lousy at the moment, I've actually caught myself looking longingly towards my bedroom and the flannel sheets and my warm down comforter. So I can hear you saying "go! what are you doing posting? we'll be here when you get back! go to bed!"

I'm going...I'm going...man it's nice to have friends who tell you to get back in bed...thanks for that.

Back soon...k?