June 23, 2015

Missing home

It’s been almost a year since I’ve written anything on my little corner of the web.  My blog.  My writing space.  I think about it all the time, and yet when I’m sitting in front of the keyboard, I feel at a loss. 

How do you pick up and start again?  Where do you start?  Do you re-cap?  Do you explain?  Do you just move on and forge ahead and forget the past and just…write?

Actually…I’m not sure, but I still feel I have things to talk about.  Even if it’s my kids.  Or AB.  Or food pics.  Or whatever.  What’s on my mind/heart/etc. 

I know the blogging world sort of shifted a few years back – over to Facebook and Twitter and Instagram and our faithful blogging lives took the new shape of 30 words or less with a picture.  Frankly, I’m disenchanted with all of that.  It can be a great tool to reconnect with long distance friends and family, but it doesn’t always tell the truth, does it?

Facebook is a snapshot of many of the best moments.  The carefully cropped, photo edited, color enhanced, swirly font textured images that conjure up the life most of us wish we actually had.  Let me ask you; do you go through your photos and post the blurry, funky, crazy hair, non-smiling images you find?  No.  We don’t do that.  Why would we?  We post the picture that gives our double chin the most advantageous angle.  See me THIS way, we tell them when we hit “post”.  See my kids are happy.  See we are smiling.  See all is well.  See we are on another adventure in life.  See we are deliriously happy and love each other and never fight or make messes or take each other for granted. Or whatever.  No judgment, I’m guilty.

And I suspect many of us can relate.  There’s more.  So much more behind the scenes.  So much more than 30 words or a picture can convey.  So much that has happened to each of us over the years to shape us and crush us and form us and here we are…posting a selfie on Facebook and saying how much we love sushi or this good book or this store we found.  And it has a place.  It does.  The sushi picture on Facebook.  Sure.  I love sushi…who doesn’t?

I think the point I’m making is that I’ve got stuff, man.  And Facebook was fun.  Is fun.  Sometimes.  When it doesn’t consume hours of my day.  A lot of my time has been eaten up by status updates and as great as that has been – I do long to actually connect with people through writing.  And I’m way too long-winded for 30 words or less or whatever the heck it is. 

So that’s the deal.  And maybe I’m back.  Or maybe I’ll write this and get sucked into life and laundry and forget to write again.  Who knows.  But I’m willing to try…

Here’s my peace offering for being gone so long.  The unedited, unflattering picture I have not posted.  (ahem…until now)

Ugh.  I don’t even know what made me do that to myself.  What am I all “ahhhhh” about?  Can’t recall. 

Ok but seriously, how about one of me and the kids that’s not all…whatever that is up there…but I still have the hat on?

Aren’t they HUGE?  Just don’t even get me started. 



aak_san said...

Seeing those faces always makes me smile. For what it's worth, I'm happy you took the time to revisit your blog today. I love to hear what is up in your world!

Wendy in OH said...

YES! Come back! Those kids...wow!

kjmitchell1 said...

I found your blog after Googling, "why it's ok NOT to homeschool." It was getting into the late hours of the night when my motherly confidence has just about plummeted into nothing and I feel that all I did today was dream of being by myself instead of surrounded by kids. Increasing pressure mounted as I've spent a week of vacation with my beautiful and calm and much better overall homeschooling younger sister.. who makes everything I do look like an attempt by a blind five year old with a raging temper. Anyway, this post in particular, where you are considering the pros and cons of returning to the blogging world cut to my heart. This was a difficult decision that I have not made as well in my own blogging life. And to read someone else's thoughts on the issue was a breath of fresh air that finally I was not alone in my world.
Thanks for writing, thanks for the honesty, and thanks for making me laugh, cry, and feel normal tonight. I could not give you any greater compliment than that. You made me feel not weird. And for that I am extremely grateful.

Briana's Mom said...

I was just going through my blog roll ~ purging blog links because so many people have abandoned their blogs. I clicked on your link and was surprised to see you write something here. I think I'm one of the few people from the China adoption community still left in the bloggy world I think. I still love blogging. I agree with your FB assessment. FB is really just bits and pieces of someone's life. You are "connected", but not really at the same time. I still enjoy writing about what is going on in our (Briana's) world. Not sure if you stop by blog anymore, but I'm still there. We haven't been connected in a while. Hope all is well.

Sean and Mic said...

So glad you are back!! I agree with. Brianna's Mom above- I miss all the old blogs. And so many of my faves just vanished and I often wonder how their kids are doing, how much they've grown, etc... I have followed you for years- so happy if you post every once in awhile. :)