Hard to say

I'm trying to think of words to say that will express my feelings here. I just can't seem to figure out what I want to write down.

My Dad will have surgery tomorrow morning at 10:30am PST to remove a large abscess and his spleen. His doctors have been fairly transparent. They are going into this with their guard up. The surgery results are "tbd" - as in "let's see how he does". We are down to the wire and this is his last hope and option. The bigger concern is the recovery and possibility for infection. He's imuno-deficient (sic?) and can't handle much in the way of any bad side affects from this operation.

I took this picture and actually thought "please, oh please don't let this be our last picture together"...

It was not comforting (sad but true) that the staff at the hospital let us have as many people in his room as we wanted, let us stay well beyond the close of visitation, or that they asked my Dad to tell them whatever he wanted for dinner and they made it happen. More than all that - that Dad seemed content with the outcome of his surgery tomorrow - whatever that may be.

It may sound grim, but we've had to somewhat prepare ourselves for the worst and yet pray and hope for the best...

And we are... we're praying for a complete healing and successful surgery and recovery. But we are not in total denial about his current odds, given his health issues. This has made it very difficult for us to leave his side tonight - knowing we would not see him again until after surgery in the morning. Lots of tears as we hugged and said goodbye - not sure of what tomorrow would hold for us.

He said he loved me. I told him I loved him so much. He whispered in my ear "you're the greatest" and I had to choke back tears. I'm doing it now too...

Quint sat on his bed for a bit and we laughed together as he made his Grandpa grin from ear to ear. Quint was gentle with my Dad and almost seemed afraid to hurt him - as if he could sense that his Grandpa was not well.

I'm lying if I don't type that my gut is all wrong on this whole situation. But I'm still praying for a miracle.

My Dad is 59 years old...just 59

Would you pray for him too?