Ouchie

Well, I came across this post today over here and it really hit me between the eyes.

All I can say is OUCH. Take a minute to read it.

Makes me think twice about what we're doing and or not doing in terms of the country that gave us our son. It also makes me grieve just a little bit more when I think of how our son came to be ours. What kind of life must you be living when the only solution left for you is to give up your child - whether it be from sickness or starvation? Can we even comprehend that on any realistic level?

I try to think about becoming poor...right now, right here in the U.S. And being terribly hungry. And our son being hungry. And suddenly we hear about places that are taking the children and some of those kids are getting chosen to go to another country and live with families who can take care of them and feed them. But I'll never see him again. And in utter and total desperation, I take Quint to one of these places and walk away.

That makes me want to throw up.

Having been there - having seen it...I can tell you that it's 100% real and happening even as I type this.

But this post made me think so much more about the other side of this. Yes, I have my son and soon my daughter - and any orphan is a child in need of a family - regardless of how they came to be an orphan. But, it does make me think about the greater picture and what we personally can do to help change that.

Ouch.

Boy & His Dog

He's giving her a kiss - right on her cheek. Because that's what he does...he loves to give kisses. And he LOVES this dog.

Anabelle is the the most gentle and kind dog. I can't think of a better way to describe her to you. She's just hands down, the best dog ever. She puts up with a lot from Quint - and he squeals with delight when she's in the room with him. It's re-dic-u-lous-ly cute.

Dear Quint...

We got home from Africa four months and fourteen days ago. Time is flying by and we can't believe it. You will be 11 months old this coming week, and we'll be celebrating your 1st birthday next month. When we got your referral, you were just three months old. By the time we got through court and were able to go and get you, you had just turned six months old. You were so little. It was incredible how much we loved you the minute we met you!

Were you really this little? I can still remember it, if I try...

And look at you now! Growing up and changing every day. I love those teeth! I love that you wave hello and goodbye. I love the way you clap your hands and hum to yourself. I love the way you giggle and laugh over so many things. You always make Daddy and I laugh too! You're such a sweet and wonderful boy, Quint! We can't imagine our life without you - wouldn't even want to try.

I love that when Daddy and I say "can I have a kiss?", you lean in and plant a big on one us. That never gets old. I love the way you chatter and say "dadadadadada". I love that you love beans and rice as much as Mommy! I love your hair, your big beautiful soulful eyes, your happy smile, your cute little teeth, your adorable feet...I just love everything about you! People who meet you, love you too. You're just lovable, baby boy!

Sometimes Daddy and I look at each other and we just shrug our shoulders...because we are so completely in love with you - hook line and sinker - that it's overwhelming. Sometimes there just aren't enough words, or pictures, or moments, or kisses and hugs that can convey it.

We shudder to think what our lives would look like if we hadn't taken this road to you. It's unbearable to even go there in our minds. So we don't. Easier to just play and have fun and enjoy loving you every single day - because we did take that road! (whew!)

You're growing up so fast and before we know it, you'll be two then three then four and on and on. In the blink of an eye...we'll look back at our pictures and wonder where the time went and how fast you grew up.

Until then...

You are our sunshine. Our only sunshine. You make us happy when skies are grey. You'll never know dear, how much we love you...

Love you forever and ever ~

Distance makes the heart...

...grow fonder - I guess it's true. I was thinking back to this moment - that first moment I got to put my eyes on my son. That breathtaking moment when we met and he smiled at me for the first time. I wish I could go back, and relive it. Just to feel how small he was and how fragile he felt in my arms. I just want to reach into that picture and embrace the moment all over again. It was such a pivotal day in my heart and such a stunning moment of my life. I was in LOVE and it was like every place I'd ever been going in my life, was all to get to that moment right there. It still takes my breath away!

And dare I admit, that distance has given me the ability to appreciate my time in Ethiopia much more. To actually remember much of it with fondness, even though we were all dreadfully sick for the majority of our trip. Having put some space between myself and some of the unfortunate things that we experienced - it does seem much better in retrospect. Still the hardest thing I had ever done to that point, but somehow it has softened and the rough edges of my memories of Africa aren't as sharp. And when I let my mind go there - to the amazing gift we have been given in Quint - I am humbled over and over. Because he is flat out and hands down the best thing we've ever experienced together or been a part of.

Anton said it the other day, and I agree: I don't think we've seen the last of Africa. I just don't think we have. Don't know what that means just yet. We have a little gal waiting for us in China and I'm pretty sure that little gal has been born. (chills) So that's the first priority. But whatever it means or ends up looking like - we just don't feel God's done with us in Africa.

And if that's true - then we have a lot of opportunity waiting for us...