!@$%#^&%@& ANTS!

Who told freaking "Timmy" that having a little Ant Farm would be cute? Who ever decided to invite these annoying, horrible, nasty little things into their house in the first place? Some fool who later found them vastly multiplied and only a small sign in the farm that said "Moved to the Pantry" - I guess that's when he finally understood why some things are better left to Raid.

Do I sound bitter? Well, I AM!!

Tonight as AB and I were wrapping up the evening and getting ready to feed the animals and head to bed, AB yelped and said "Babe...you better come and look at this". I ran to the kitchen and low and behold...the little !@(*&$#@ were all over the dog feeding stations, all over the food that is contained inside them...all over the $$$$ KACHING KACHING KACHING expensive food that Kaleigh has to eat because she is allergic to everything else. Streaming in a neat thick line all the way across the kitchen from behind the fridge. I said..."GET THE RAID!" Yes, we mopped afterward - sort of. And yes, we washed all the pet dishes, bowls, etc. Yes, we fed the dogs elsewhere. And yes, we huffed and puffed and a few choice words got said towards the little buggars. This was not how we wanted to end our night. But it got better, oh yes it did!

Moments later, AB went to deliver Miss Kitty her food in the laundry room, and he came back with a bowl in his hand and said "you won't believe this!" Don't tell me...you don't have to, I said. Guessed it yet? YEP! !@#@#@%$#%%^%&* All over the laundry room, swarming all over Miss kitty's dry food and all over her little dish from last night of wet food...not that there was anything but a few dry crumbs in it. Poor kitty! So we rush to spray and clean and mop, and wash the dishes and feed kitty in the master bathroom. By now we're sweating. And P.O'd. Big time. These little jerks were doing the party dance all over my house... So, now that we're de-stressing from the pet drama...I open the pantry to get out the "Swifter". Good thing I did too....you say it for me this time! Go ahead...ALL OVER THE DANG PLACE. I'm telling you...these suckers were on steriods. Some of them were like four times the size of the average ant. They were huge. Others were small and quick...but not too quick for Raid. Muhhhaahahaahahahaahhhhh!

As we're now on our hands and knees trying to extinguish the life from several hundred ants, I am literally thinking they are the devils spawn.
I look at them and see little horns and beatty eyes...invading our home...our pets food...our food! Criminy, I'll be lucky if we all aren't dead by morning from the vast amounts of toxic Raid in the air. I do take some pleasure in the fact that the Ants that ventured in the house are dead. I picture that somewhere tonight in ANTLAND, all the little ants are lying on their couches watching the nightly news and listening to the breaking story of hundreds of workers trapped in a human house and exterminated via "The Gas". Missing Ants posters will be up by tomorrow morning and the ant factory will have to relocate for awhile...

But never fear...they'll be back. Oh yes, they always come back.

They find a way. And they always come back....

little !*&$#@&#$@#&@!!$*&#@!!



p.s. - Don't forget to read below on my post about Adventures!

Adventures

I feel like this trip that we're planning to China to get Keira is such an adventure in the making. And the truth is, unless you're a dare-devil extraordinaire, you don't get a lot of adventure in your everyday life. I know we don't (shrugs shoulders). At any rate, I'm really looking forward to it, but even my adoption buddies can tell you how my hubby's face light up when he talks about going to China with me next year. He absolutely comes alive. He's been and he loved it then and has wanted to return ever since. Now, knowing that I've seen almost nothing of the "world" outside of California and Texas, he is even more jazzed up about it - because he feels like it's an adventure for us - not only to be parents, but to see the world together. An amazing country rich in culture and beauty and history (and, well there's the fact that our daughter lives there...).

AB grew up in Indonesia. He was a missionary kid and literally lived in the jungle (among the bush and the tribe people) for several years with his parents and sister. Their family is all back on suburbian ground, but still count those years and Indonesia as some of the best of their lives. Of all the places they have all lived, Indonesia is what they miss the most. Can you imagine that? Maybe you can. But I can't. I've never lived outside of Suburbia...ok, well there was this one time, if you count living in the country like a farmer girl...but that was really safe and normal. Cows and chickens, etc.

So I married this amazing guy who not only can cook like nobody's business, but is extremely intelligent and soooo book smart, is wonderful with children (specialty = middle school age (gag...can you even imagine that!?!?!) and is a world traveler/dweller. He speaks (or could if he really wanted to, but doesn't) three languages - English, Dutch, and Indonesian - and he just knows stuff. That's why I married him...because he's hot and he knows stuff. Please don't ask why he married me...I'm still figuring that one out.

My point is - my husband of adventures married a girl of no adventures. So I started digging...have I ever taken an adventure? Something that was out of my comfort zone and tested my ability to let lose and have fun and face my fears...

Well I came up with one. I know that's lame. One. But it's still one to say that I have done. Now, here's the preface: I have an irrational fear of water. Bodies of water in particular, meaning the ocean or large rivers. I don't like sea-life. It scares me...a lot...I mean...a lot. Revealing something about myself that I would rather take to my grave, I have such a fear of sea-life, that I have an unnatural fear of shadows in a swimming pool because in my mind...it's a whale swimming over. I know it's not. I realize there is no whale in my mom's pool. It's just...I can't convince myself to be comfortable when the sun started setting and there are shadows cast over the pool. Especially if I'm diving under water and look down and see the shadow on the bottom of the pool. Sends off the alarm...I'm over and out like a walkie-talkie. Great...so now that you have the background, and now that you think I'm a complete lunatic...I should also tell you that at 14 years old on a youthgroup trip to the ocean in Santa Cruz, California, I almost drowned in the ocean and had my youth pastor not seen a wave take me under and swim out and literally pull me up - I still have no idea how he did that - I would not be here writing this story. Now, while I was under...I was literally feeling my life go. I got hit in the back of the head by this enormous wave....pushed under the water and swirling around...all around me was this black water, that is to say, you couldn't see at all. I was turned all around and could not find my way up. Even though there were bubbles everywhere from the wave rushing by, I was pushed down and I just couldn't find my way up. It was such a moment of panic. I thought...this can't be it...I can't drown...I just can't! Around that time, a hand grabbed my arm and up I went...sputtering and coughing and colapsing back on shore to gain my breath and calm my shaking limbs.

Well, I hadn't gone back into the ocean since that day. I had waded in...a little. Walked up and down a sandy shore...but the chances of going back in the water were just so slim.

Enter my adventure: At 25 - some people from work were organizing a River Raft and I was like "nope...no way...not this girl...not in this lifetime". Well, apparently, I didn't mean that. After much coaxing and prompting and prodding by them, I agreed that I would go as long as no helmets were involved. In my mind, if you had to wear a helmet, it wasn't for beginners. Well, I was wrong, but who cares. It was one of the best experiences of my life. I am not athletic. I do not do sports - (sorry honey!). I do not like water. But somehow, they convinced me and I went. I'm so glad I did. There were times that I thought "If I fall in...just don't let me drown!" But I didn't ever fall in, and I was so pumped the entire time...from the first big wave that we hit...I was sold. It was amazing! If you have never gone whitewater rafting, you have to do it. It's so great...and the water was incredible. We did an all day tour - where you stop a couple times for lunch/snack and a potty break and then head out again. You work your way down the river and at certain times of the year, the water is much more active than others. So of course, as you will see in the pictures below...it was pretty active. At the end of the day, I was tired, aching, and wet...but I was also elated, felt a great sense of accomplishment, and felt I had just had an adventure that I would never forget.

Guess I was right...

More on new Adventures sometime next year...

Mommies, Movies & Munchies

To say I have met the most extraordinary women on this journey and to say that they have become near and dear to my heart would truly be an understatement. What started as a social lunch once a month quickly grew into bonding with some of the kindest, funniest, and special women I've ever known. We all share the same agency, we all are adopting or have adopted from China, and we all - though different in many ways - are bonded through our journey and now, through our wonderful and amazing ability to relate to one another as friends and "sisters". There really is no explanation for it. Why should these women be different from any others? I've tried to socialize in groups before and it never came to more than very basic interactions. The truth here, is that there is no rhyme or reason to it. Erin wanted to meet - so she sent out the invite and we all showed up. That was several months ago...now we're inseparable. I can't explain it...why don't I let the pictures do the talking...

Although, I will say this - the other night we got together for Movie Night at Valerie's...and my gosh...I haven't laughed that hard in months! I can't remember the last time I had so much fun! We all laughed and laughed...and so many things came up that have now immortalized the night in our minds...for more on those, you must go visit Valerie's blog! It is absolutely hilarious what she wrote (and so true).

I love ya girls! So Kelley, Erin, Valerie, Robyn, and Jamie - Here's to many, many more! And thanks to Erin and Robyn, who I stole so many of these pictures from...

Once Upon A Time

I have had several requests to re-post to my blog the short story I wrote and posted in April of '06 to Keira's website. For those who were so kind to ask and persist...here you go...

Once Upon A Time...

Once upon a time, I was single and those were the good ole days. Whatever I wanted to do I did, and wherever I wanted to go I went. I took trips to the library, walks to the park, and spent quiet time at home planting flowers and watching old movies. Dining for one was a treat because there was never a fuss about what to eat or where to eat it. Projects were simple and necessity was the mother of my inventions. I killed the spiders that crawled out from under my pantry and celebrated when I fixed the leak in my toilet. Yes, those were peaceful times. There was nothing to keep me up at night and no one to make demands on my time. Life was content and quiet. But maybe sometimes a little lonely…Suddenly, one hot August evening I met a man who would change all that for me. He smiled and I was sold and truth be told, he didn’t even know I was alive. Mistaken for the mother of one of his students, he assumed I was “taken”. Three short months later, we met for coffee and have never been apart since. Fate worked out the details on how we got to that point and there was never a better first date or first kiss. Love was in the air and I was smitten and swooning after being in his arms for ten minutes.Soon after, my beloved was on one knee in front of hundreds of people asking for my hand and I gladly said goodbye to my single life. After all, my life with him was so enriched and so much fuller than I ever thought it could be. The old saying goes like this “First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage”…but fate had other plans for us.

The first couple years of wedded bliss passed by and never was a couple more in love than my darling and I. We set up house and even got a dog. Eventually we even got a second puppy. We took walks with our dogs, and delighted in their newly learned tricks. We would actually even surprise company with mini pet shows where we would proudly display the things our dogs had learned. Life was good and we were having fun learning to be a family.

Once upon a time we were young and newly married and those were the good ole days. Whatever we wanted to do we did, and wherever we wanted to go we went. We took trips to the library, walks to the park, and spent quiet time at home planting flowers and watching old movies. Dining for two was always a treat because there was never a fuss about what to eat or where to eat it. Projects were simple and necessity was the mother of our inventions. He killed the spiders that crawled out from under my pantry and we celebrated when we fixed the leak in our toilet. Yes, these are peaceful times, we would say to each other. There was nothing to keep us up at night, except the sound of each other snoring, and no one to make demands on our time. Life was content and quiet. But still sometimes a little lonely…And soon the seeds of parenting, that were planted by having our little canine pals around, grew into full-blown desire. We thought about all the things we would do together as we happily plotted our blue-eyed blonde haired children. And so began the hopeful and naïve step into child conception. Several months passed and we watched as our friends around us conceived with seemingly little more than dinner and a movie. We laughed it off, shrugging our shoulders and silently hoping we were just out of sync. Several more months passed and still no glorious revelation of pregnancy. In fact, several pregnancy tests sat on the bathroom counter well into the night, in the slight hope that the second line would eventually decide to make it’s presence known. To no avail…
Summers came and went and we did yard work while neighbors happily passed by with strollers in tow – out for pleasant walks to the park. This only further served to encourage us to “get to work” on project baby. Still, weeks turned into months and months turned into three years of unsuccessful bargaining with God.Everywhere we looked, pregnant women glowing with love floated in and out of our paths, their proud husbands standing by to carry their coat and open their doors. Friend after friend called or wrote with news of impending childbirth, and we made calls of celebration, even though our own hopes were slowly fading out like a summer sunset. Family barbeques and dinners with old friends rendered the same question we had heard time and time again “when are you two going to start a family?” We finally had come up with witty answers like “oh, haven’t you met our four-legged kids…they were a pill to deliver?” or “we are a family…children are the addition to what already exists”. Needless to say, most of the time, we just smiled demurely and feigned ignorance. A simply shoulder shrug often did the trick and was quickly followed by a change of subject. Only those near and dear knew our true struggle. We were facing the beast of infertility - crappy, low-down, no-good friend that he is. Hope turned to rain. Dreams turned to darkness. One day we found ourselves talking about the future, the one without the children we so desperately wanted, and we consoled ourselves with this:Yes, once upon a time we would be old and long married and those would be the good ole days. Whatever we wanted to do we would do, and wherever we wanted to go we would go. We would take trips to the library, walks to the park, and spend quiet time at home planting flowers and watching old movies. Dining for two would always be a treat because there was never a fuss about what to eat or where to eat it. Projects together would be fun and simple and necessity would be the mother of our inventions. He would kill the spiders that crawled out from under my pantry and we would celebrate when we fixed the leak in our toilet. Yes, these would be peaceful times with no distractions or worries, like the ones kids would undoubtedly bring. There would be nothing to keep us up at night, except the sound of each other snoring, and no one to make demands on our time. Life would be content and quiet. But maybe sometimes a little lonely…


We moved across the country, bought a home and set up life – a life that didn’t include kids. We still wanted them, but we just couldn’t face the heartache of any more procedures, tests, or the negative results that went with them. We decided to make each other our focus and went forward with our plans to be a happily married couple. As fate would have it, that was not the only thing we were to plan on…

A year and a half later, a miracle happened. I became pregnant. Not the traditional kind of pregnancy that nature had ruled out for me in my mother’s womb, but the kind that entails lots of paperwork and lots of waiting. We call it paper-pregnancy. The kind that twists and turns and melts your tired wounded childless heart, and brings hope for tomorrow and the future. We had stumbled upon a wonderful opportunity to adopt a baby girl from China and door after door opened until there was no way to move but forward. Suddenly we were wrapped up in paperwork and details. Visits with a social worker, forms to fill out, fingerprints to take, and passport photos to pose for. One joyous day all that hard work had accumulated into one little box that traveled all the way to China and made it’s way into the hands of the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs. Now we sit and wait for the pictures of the little one that will invariably change our lives forever. Even though it took months to get to this point, it seems like a dream. There is a nursery to sit in. One that I still walk into and feel as if I must be in someone else’s house. There is a crib and little tiny clothes. There are even little diapers that smell of baby powder all neatly stacked in a row. There are rattles and toys and squishy little chubby baby books. There are soft furry blankets, and warm thick cotton booties. There is a mobile that plays “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and a baby doll that has soft black hair and beautiful Asian features. This is my daughter’s room, I tell myself. These are her clothes and her toys and this is her bed. It’s a bit much to take in, even now. And yet, I comfort myself with these thoughts while I wait for her to be in my arms:

Once upon a time we will be parents and long married and those will be the good ole days. Whatever we want to do we will check to make sure it’s kid-friendly and then do it, and wherever we want to go we will wonder if she will like it too. We will take trips to the library, walks to the park, and spend time at home playing with toys and watching Disney movies. Dining for three will always be a treat because there will never be a dull moment watching her jam daddy’s good eats into her little mouth. Projects together will be fun and messy and necessity will be the mother of our many inventions. She will probably pick up the spiders that crawl out from under my pantry and we will celebrate when she goes potty on the big-girl toilet. Yes, these will be glorious times with plenty of distractions and worries, like the ones having a child will undoubtedly bring. There will be nothing to keep us asleep at night, except the sound of her peaceful breathing, and only our lovely toddler to make demands on our time. Life will be content, yet blissfully chaotic. But never lonely…

-Christie