September 14, 2012

Masks

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It occurred to me after they had chosen them, we had come home,
we had colored them, and they had run around playing with them for a while…
a little “monster” and a princess.  How appropriate, indeed…
Q is all boy and an imp.  Keira is a girly-girl through and through
Love them so!

September 7, 2012

The Purge of 2012

So, I’ve been in the purging zone this past week.  There is little more I could tell you that would convey this message better, than just patting you on the back and sending you on a one-way trip down our hallway.  You wouldn't make it back.  Oh no.  Because you’d get lost in the vortex of “Donate This” and “Keepsakes” and bags of shoes, cartons of toys, and games missing far to many pieces to be useful to anyone – anywhere.  This is deadly, people.  Small animals could get lost in this mess.  And it should stress me out.  Instead I’m breathing.  It feels good to accomplish something that is overdue.  Feels like a big honking relief.  So for now, I’ll continue to ram my bare toes into odds and ends lining the hall – and I’ll continue to trip over piles upon piles of gobbledy goop.  Because it means that room by room, we are becoming a LESS IS MORE house. 
One down…
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One to go…
(feel my pain, people…The Avengers, all things small and useless,
random pieces of paper, and McDonalds toys threw up in here)
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At least they’re SUPER cute when they make these messes together, eh?  Oy!
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Anyone else feel like purging and moving furniture around?  Just me?  I’m in the ZONE.

September 3, 2012

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda...

Lake - 1982
Yours truly, circa 1982


I’d be lying if I told you I didn’t want to go back in time and tell this little girl some things about life. 
I think we all feel that way, right? 
Coulda, woulda, shoulda and all that? 

I wouldn’t mind the chance to tell her “stick up for yourself!”
or “it’s ok to make mistakes” or
“stop chewing your nails, because trust me – it will take 25 more years and some serious fortitude to kick that habit”.

I’d kinda like to tell her that it’s ok.  To have grace for herself.
To avoid those girls in 7th grade who made fun of her clothes – what did they know?
To go ahead and ask that boy to the dance, because turns out?  He had a big crush on her.
I’d love to whisper in her ear “confidence is your most amazing attribute” or
“you’re going to be stronger than you ever thought you could be” or
“people will get your humor someday…trust me.”

I’d love to whip myself into this photo and sit awhile with her.
Maybe say “avoid ranch dressing…it’s the end of the line for us” or
“save those letters your mom wrote you” or
“don’t be afraid to forgive…”
Maybe even tell her she’s all kinds of good stuff under there, even though it might not always feel like it’s true.

I’d like to give her a hug and say “PLEASE be a glass half-full person!” or
“apply yourself even more than you already do!” or
“you’re worth it!”
It wouldn’t hurt to tell her that she has a spectacular heart,
that she has great comedic timing,
or that she will be her mama’s light for years and years.  What a treasure…

I’d like to give her all the red flags in writing, all the pain in a bottle.
All the hurt in a book, so that she would know where not to step.
I’d love to point her to all the people who will love her well and good.
And I’d love to tell her what a difference having those people in her life will make.

and if I could work it into conversation…in no particular order…

  • Riding a bike with your eyes closed and hands off the handlebar that summer when you’re 9? Pink Huffy and all that?  Yeah, don’t.  Broken ankle.
  • Skip eating at Leatherby’s on the 21st of July in 2012…that was no good coming back up.
  • Drinking mom’s cooking Sherry in 85? Big mistake.
  • Nevermind the anti-biotics with sulfa… you haven’t seen a rash until you’ve seen that one.
  • Running too fast down Mark’s steep driveway?  Broken arm.  Walk don’t run.
  • You’re wrong.  Shoulder pads only make you look like a football player – not like Melanie Griffith.
  • Kissing Jeff Pulley in the model homes when you’re a teenager?  Meh.
  • That slumber party Gina Locke invites you to?  They’re gonna freeze your bra.  Don’t be a party pooper…it’s a J.O.K.E.
  • When Dad asks you when the last time you had your oil changed was – keep the “doe in headlights” look and say “what oil change?”.  Works. Every. Time.
  • When your fifteen and sitting at the table with Great Grandma and Grandpa…ask more questions about THEM.  They leave much too soon…
  • When that Roseville cop pulls you over for speeding and you make a joke, because you think it might diffuse the situation?   Yeah, not so much. $295.00 later kinda not so much.
  • When you tell God you won't be doing something, say like EVER EVER EVER going to Africa...(snicker) just go ahead and put it on the calendar as "pending" because you're SO going.
  • Turns out, singing in the choir IS good practice.  Keep it up, soul sistah.
  • The blue eye-shadow/blue eye-liner combo will be back in 30 years, so scale it back a bit…
  • Big hair is only a good look because you are a victim of something we call "the 80's".  It’s a terrible look.  Step away from the Aquanet, three pairs of layered socks, pinned jeans, rubber bracelets, and Exclamation Point perfume.  Do it.  Don't ask why. 
  • Please, please be a glass half full kinda girl.  Have I said that already?

Amen.

and a million other coulda/woulda/shoulda’s….

September 1, 2012

Nice & Easy


So I’m quasi-back…slowly finding a groove to get myself into the swing of things.  I’ll level with you – our Summer was not so great.  Actually, it was pretty crappy.  From May through August – things were no bueno.  I could tell you 100 reasons why – but let’s not focus on that.  Let’s focus on the fact that life goes on.  No matter what.  I’m not trying to be cryptic, but I am trying to say – life happens and what you do with it is what matters. 

I’ve also got a new look here, just for a while (because who can resist holiday themes?).  It makes me feel peaceful – which I could use right now.  Also I love pink.  So there’s that sorry admission.  Despite pink being a “girly” color – I get the distinct impression among women that pink is just so…girly!  Oh well…I love it!

There are tons of things to cover…but let’s just say in a nutshell, it’s been a year of traumatic health issues.  Anton’s recovery has been slow – but he’s finally almost back to normal.  Quint still struggles daily and we are pursuing help for him.  Keira has Latent TB.  Not contagious, but dangerous just the same if left untreated.  BTW?  Treatment is daily meds for nine months.  As in, NINE.  Could be worse…could always be worse…

Our only remaining family pet is aging before our eyes – and she’s every bit of her almost 12 years.  To say this makes us sad as we watch her hobble around – well, that doesn’t do it justice.  She is the last of the original five fur-babies.  Anton and I rescued her just two short months into our marriage.  She has been a part of us for a long time and simply put - we're not sure how to imagine our life without her.  Sigh...

We also lost a car this summer – my beloved CRV.  (OH THE DESPAIR!)  I loved that car!  But it was TOAST.  On the other hand, I was finally able to join the Mini-Van-Mom-Brigade.  Yes, I am now a proud Mini-Van membership toting mama.  I love my van – I have to say.  It’s pretty great (read BIG).  How did I ever live without so much room in the back and a whole nother’ row of seats? 

School has started and with that, Anton’s very busy production schedule in full swing.  Auditions, and rehearsals, and meetings are all over the calendar.  Makes for a very busy life for all of us. 

I feel the holidays approaching and maybe I’m the only one, but I almost feel like I’m already behind in a way.  I know I will BLINK and it will be October.  (and so on…and November…and Christmas)  This makes me feel many things – one of which is happiness.  See, and you thought this post was going to be all gloom and doom!  Chin up, reader! I love Fall.  I love the colors, the smells, the d├ęcor, the season, the cool evenings…I love fires in the fireplace and spiced candles.  I love cozy blankets and movies on my beloved green couch, and soup.  

I love the holidays – they truly infuse me with joy.  I’ll admit, they also have moments of bittersweet emotion.  Like having your loved ones far away, or missing  holidays past when your babies were babies?  I get that way.  But more than all of that, I so love the peace this time of year brings me. 

So having September arrive…and having a new look on here, and having put many moments and issues of our NEVER-ENDING summer aside (for the moment) – I feel like it's time to attempt heading into the remainder of our year.  

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Between you and me?  Can’t say I’m sorry to see 2012 heading out the door…

“strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow….”

xo